A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Isis (not verified)
Reply to confused
Tue, 2013/01/08 - 18:13I really think that your relationship has run its course and is time to move on. Why would you consider spending your life with such a moody and unpredictable person? He appears to be angling for a monetary gesture from you and the pressure will continue until he has it I'm afraid. Please look forward to the more positive aspects of your life rather than trying to waste energy on a hopeless situation.
Hannan (not verified)
Forget him, Isis is right, he
Wed, 2013/01/09 - 12:47Forget him, Isis is right, he is trying to get money from you, they think europeans are loaded with money, and that you should be able to buy a property easily. And why cant you talk to friends? what is he hiding? or maybe he is frightened one of his friends will tell you too much about what he gets up to when you are not there. The whole thing stinks,dump him, I promise you will get over this, and when you think back on it all, you will wonder why you didn't see whats going on before. regards Hannan.
Lady Traveller (not verified)
So sad Egypt is such a great country
Tue, 2013/01/15 - 08:07I have only recently come across this blog and have read with interest the scams and lies that are perpetrated against western women. Sad to say that in my own opinion, and mine only, the change in the tourist industry may play a small part. Before I get chastised let me explain I love Egypt and have been visiting annually for over 18 years, I first travelled there alone when I was 20, like many others I travelled for the history and culture. I never looked for love or romance, sorry Egyptian men have never floated my boat. I am not racist and have many Arab friends but as far as forming a relationship with one goes sorry thanks but no thanks. I am happy with my English guy and he is also friends with many of my Arab friends, we will have joint chats on Skype together.
I still come to Egypt for the history and seek inspiration for my art projects sometimes on my own, sometimes with my partner. I will book on Nile cruise as they offer great value for money and although I listen to the guide out of courtesy I have heard the same tales many times before. When I initially came on these cruises the atmosphere was laid back and centred around culture and history lectures. This appears to have changed and when I last took a cruise I booked on an ‘all inclusive’ boat which was a vastly different experience. I am no prude, indeed my tattoos and piercings are testament to this, but the party atmosphere on the boat was a little uncomfortable. I know that the tourist industry must cater for all people but I thought that this ‘sort of thing’ only happened in the Red Sea resorts and not in Luxor or on the Nile. My fellow passengers were a mixture of couples and woman around the same age group as myself (late 30’s to late 40’s) so when I boarded I thought that I would be in good company. The couples were great but many of the ladies just seemed to go on holiday to flirt and form friendships with the boat crew, many wedding rings were taken off on the coach that took us to the boat. I have no problem with this, each to their own, but when waiters, bar men, masseurs and tour leaders (not guides), who’s knowledge of Egyptian history is a little vague, keep asking for my Facebook and Skype details along with my mobile phone number, so we ‘can keep in touch’, then sorry my cabin awaits. This made feel an outsider on the boat as I was told ‘Other ladies keep in touch why not you, next time you visit we can go on a felucca ride together or we can go out on my bothers horses’. I was even told I could have a free ride in a hot air balloon as the guy in the on board shop ‘knew one of the pilots’.
This is done in a very pleasant manner full of charm and smiles and the request is only dropped into the conversation as a sort of afterthought. This is where the root of the trouble lies, if ladies who should know better flirt with guys who have never been out of Egypt, and their perception of the west is from television and films, they will begin to believe that this behaviour is the norm and all western woman cheat on their partners and husbands when they go away. I do not cheat or lie, I will gladly go for a drink with anyone but will make it clear I am not interested in ‘How beautiful my eyes are’ (when wearing sunglasses) or how many times I have ‘Appeared in their dreams’. Until recently this has not been a problem but on my last visit I was asked if there is something wrong with me of if I was a lesbian when I turned their over amorous advances.
When I saw 40 year old woman posing for photographs with guys barely out of their teens this made me rather uncomfortable, what would be the perception if a 40 year old man posed for photographs with 20 year old girls, he would be deemed almost a paedophile. Ladies please have some self respect and just think for a moment what your behaviour is doing to the minds of these impressionable guys. Your harmless photograph, to show your friends that you can still attract (very) young men, may plant the seed for someone to be scammed, or even worse should a woman turn down the advances of the guy. The photograph may look good but an attacked or raped woman is not a pretty sight.
Somehow I don’t think you would behave like this in your home town so why do it in Egypt, many of these guys are young enough to be your sons. Would you condone your son pursuing a woman the same age as you and what would your reaction be towards the woman if you found out
I will continue to visit Egypt to enjoy the history and would encourage others to do the same, however woman should heed the warnings on this site, along with others, tip for good service nothing more. If smiling guys just over half your age become over friendly, touchy feely or charming just return the smile and politely tell them that if they don’t back off you will report them to their manger. To the guys in the street just ignore them or ask them if they are Muslim, if they answer in the affirmative then tell them they are not a good Muslim or they would not be behaving in that manner.
These guys are doing to tourist trade no favours and Egypt is gaining a reputation as the female Philippines which may discourage regular tourists. I no way condone the scammers, cheaters and liars but just wished to add a slightly different woman’s perspective on things.
Isis (not verified)
Well said Lady Traveller
Tue, 2013/01/15 - 19:40Therein lies the other half of the problem - the western women who incite the flirting and encourage the advances of the young men in question. Most of the Nile Cruise boats have a strict "no fraternising with the tourists" policy but it is obviously not a deterrent. Unfortunately many of the western women who capture themselves a "boy toy" are the ones that cry foul when the are eventually ripped off emotionally and financially. It takes two to tango!
Anonymous (not verified)
I am soon to be married to an
Wed, 2013/01/16 - 09:54I am soon to be married to an Egyptian, who is non Muslim, and I did have a worry, he may be like what you said, but when you love someone, you have to trust them. I too have read many stories, and have had many conversations with him, but deep down, I believe if he was like that, it would bring dishonour to him and his family. Unlike the Muslim men, using rich Westerners, male and female, for money, I too, watch them out there, and feel ashamed, then pity for them, but people will do what they want, no matter if its the wrong thing.and then end up hurt, angry then bankrupt, believing the stories these men tell them. I hope the women learn from their mistakes, and should they have been cheated, then to warn others on here, with a name, hotel, etc, so others do not fall for the same. And if you could say what boat you were on, people could avoid it?
Khalid
Lots of Coptic scammers too ...
Wed, 2013/01/16 - 10:14There are lots of cases of some Coptic Christian men scamming Western women too, just like some Muslim men do.
Their selling point is that they believe in Jesus, ...etc. and not like "these Muslims".
So, beware ...
Come back either way and tell us if your marriage worked, or it was a scam ...
lady business t... (not verified)
Things have changed in Luxor.
Sun, 2013/01/20 - 08:17Things have changed in Luxor. I've been going there for 10 years, often on my own. There has always been a bit of unwanted attention in the street but nothing that can't be handled. But, you are right; the tourists are changing. The hotel I always stay at has started offering 'all-inclusive' holidays and this attracts a completely different kind of tourist. People come thinking it's the same as the Red Sea resorts. They don't dress appropriately outside the hotel and many of them seem to drink alcohol from dawn to dusk. Many of these women leave their brains at home and the local men take advantage of this. Who can blame them? They earn very little and they cannot have sex with a local girl before marriage so the western woman is an attractive option. Even if she is old enough to be their mother!
Young Egyptian men are often pushed into arranged marriages by their domineering elders and frequently end up marrying their cousins then taking another wife, if they can get one, when they have done their duty and produced offspring. It's also very expensive to get married in Egypt for most people. You have to provide a fully furnished home and gold for the wife before you can get married and with the tourist crisis as it is many people just cannot afford to get married so their only chance of experiencing sex is with a willing western woman.
Western women who hook up with a younger Egyptian man get a fling with an attractive young man so it's just a question of supply and demand! If they left it at that maybe there wouldn't be such a problem but the men have enormous tenacity and will play the long game. Sometimes taking a couple of years before they (directly or indirectly) ask you for money.
No doubt, there are some genuine Egyptian men around. I have a couple of friends there as I travel there at least 4 times a year for many weeks at a time. But if you meet a man on holiday it's unlikely you are the only one he has been calling habibi! If anyone seriously thinks their relationship is different, be very careful. You would have to convert to Islam for a marriage to be recognised and once you're his wife you have very few rights. The tourist police won't come and help you out of any sticky situations if you 'belong' to him (yes, you would be his property)and the regular police wouldn't get involved. If you're tempted by an 'orfi' marriage, which makes it easier to find an apartment to share, make sure you keep both copies of the document and it isn't registered, unless you seriously want to be a second-class Egyptian wife with no rights.
It's a pity Luxor is becoming known for this. I really do think the problem is getting worse because of the changing tourist situation. Hotels and crusie boats are lowering their prices and offering all-inclusive holidays simply to try to stay solvent because of the civil unrest in Egypt. I wish Luxor didn't need these kind of tourists.
Khalid
Agree, with corrections
Sun, 2013/01/20 - 12:05I agree with most of what you said. But there are some glaring inaccuracies in what you said that need corrections.
Women are not the property of men in Egypt. Neither under Islamic law, nor under current laws. This is just a widespread misconception.
If a woman is Christian or Jewish, then she is not required to convert before marriage to a Muslim man. That again is false.
Isis (not verified)
Things have changed
Mon, 2013/01/21 - 18:35As Khalid has pointed out your comment that follows is not correct -
"You would have to convert to Islam for a marriage to be recognised and once you're his wife you have very few rights. The tourist police won't come and help you out of any sticky situations if you 'belong' to him (yes, you would be his property)and the regular police wouldn't get involved. "
A Christian woman marrying a Muslim man is not required to convert to Islam. I am legally married to a Egyptian Muslim man and have never been asked to nor required to convert to Islam. I am also not my husband's "property".
Anonymous (not verified)
Mohamed Hussien
Sat, 2013/01/19 - 19:04I realise this is a common name but does anyone know of a Mohamed Hussien working as a barman at the Dreams Beach Resort in Marsa Alam? He used to work at the Sofitel Karnak near Luxor until last summer. My friend is involved with him and I'm not sure she should trust him. If anyone knows anything about him I'd be grateful for any information.
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