Idiosyncracies of The English Language

Here is a humorous bit on the idiosyncracies of the English language.

Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the hamburgerAnd neither pine nor apple is in the pineapple.English muffins were not invented in EnglandFrench fries were not invented in France.We sometimes take English for grantedBut if we examine its paradoxes we find thatQuick sane takes you down slowlyBoxing rings are squareAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.If the plural of tooth is teethShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?If the teacher taught,Why didn't the preacher praught.If a vegetarian eats vegetablesWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?Why do people recite at a playYet play at a recital?Park on driveways andDrive on parkways?How can the weather be as hot as hell on one dayAnd as cold as hell on anotherYou have to marvel at the unique lunacyOf a language where a house can burn up asIt burns downAnd in which you fill in a formBy filling it outAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!English was invented by people, not computersAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race(Which of course is not a race at all)That is whyWhen the starts are out they are visibleBut when the lights are out they are invisibleAnd why it is that when I wind up my watchIt startsBut when I wind up this poemIt ends?

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