A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Anonymous (not verified)
Error
Thu, 2012/07/12 - 11:17Sorry should have said
If I think with my head I will stay in Germany, however my heart tells me something else.
Sorry for the confusion
Distraught in Germany
Anonymous (not verified)
Don't do it.
Sat, 2012/07/14 - 07:30I am living Egypt right now after a couple of years of visiting my boyfriend. It's not an easy life here, unless you have loads of cash which you don't mind throwing at your boyfriend - don't give up your life in Germany. You will be a fool if you do, this is the voice of experience. You can choose to listen to it or not. Life is hard here and the culture is a quantum leap from ours in Europe. To be with a man here means integrating with his family, and there are different expectations. Coptic families believe in marriage for life, so if you want to be with him I suggest you consider this. And if your not going to marry him, what are you going to be with him for? A good time? Let me assure you it will be an expensive bit of fun. Get out whilst you can and stop letting your hormones rule your 40 years of life experience. And by the way a good man would not accept you being with another man and with him at the same time, it's just not culturally acceptable here in Egypt and especially for Copts. Good luck.
Anonymous (not verified)
Advice about why my Egyptian boyfriend is behaving like he is
Tue, 2012/07/17 - 11:26I have known my boyfriend for over 18 months and been in a relationship with him for about a year.
We have a few times had some disagreements in that time, and to me this is normal, between two people getting to know each other, but always it was sorted in a short time.
I only visited him last month and everything was positive and we both talked about our future together as we have many times. I was feeling so happy.
However about 2 weeks ago, he travelled home to visit his family and I have to admit I did get a bit mad at him as he did not let me know he was safe after his trip. Also I probably did not let this subject drop for a while.
Then for the next few days he seemed ok, but more quiet with me, so I apologised and kept our conversation and messages normal. But about a week ago he stopped talk to me unless I spoke first. When I asked him about this he said he felt bad and that he can not speak when he feels like this. Also when I said anything about missing him etc etc he was like please dont say these words to me they are just bla bla at the moment. But when he said goodnight or bye he always gave or typed me a kiss and still does.
Then about a week ago he was even more sad and told me he is scared he is wasting his life and that things needed to change. I asked is this is with me or not and he said he hoped it would be with me but he could not see anything happening (by this I think he meant I am still in UK and he is in Egypt) and told me he loved me.
I thought that after a few days and when he returned to his home from visting family maybe he would get better but he is the same. This is hard as in less than 5 weeks I am due to visit him again. I really dont know why he is being like this and what he is wanting or thinking. He is giving me such mixed messages as I am feel he is pushing me away with his mood, but on the other hand for example he has just moved flat and wants to show it to me on Skype and also he told me he loves me, and not asked me not to come back.
Any suggestions to why he is still like this or how I can put things right, would be greatly appreciated as he means the world to me and normally he makes me so happy.
His lady (not verified)
can you tell us more..
Tue, 2012/07/17 - 12:34Can you tell us more about your boyfriend...how did you meet? Does he work? Does he share his flat with other work colleages? Do you think he may be getting pressure from his family to settle down and marry...?
Anonymous (not verified)
Here is some more information
Tue, 2012/07/17 - 17:38Here is some more information for you.
I met my boyfriend when he worked in the hotel I stayed at. There was no connection between us then other than guest and barman. I returned on holiday to the same hotel again which I had stayed at a number of times before. My boyfriend no longer worked there then as he had moved to another hotel. Because I had been there a few times I knew a few people from there, so myself and friends went out with these friends from there and this is when I met him as he joined all of us.
He no longer works in hotels as he went to work in a shop which he was running for a friend, unfortunatley it is not doing to well.
The flat he was in up until yesterday he shared with a friend and I know previous flats he has shared with various colleagues/friends on and off. As he only moved yesterday, I do not know what the new flat is like or if he is sharing.
I know in the past his family have put pressure on for him to move home to work and settle down. We have spoken about this and he always insists that is not his life, and they know this.
Many friends who know me and him and also just know me which includes an egyptian friend, reckon he is keep going on about wasting his life as he is getting older because he is hinting that he wants this with me and does not want to keep waiting and this is why he keeps saying I am here and he is there and that I am coming for holidays and he cant see anything happening.
I do not know if this is so, as at the moment he is not easy to talk to.
So any advise as to what people think is going on would be great.
Thanks
Isis (not verified)
Re: Egyptian boyfriend
Tue, 2012/07/17 - 20:01Your posts indicate that your boyfriend may have succumbed to family pressure and married an Egyptian girl/woman chosen for him by his family. You don't say how old he is but if he is in his late twenties, the family pressure to marry and produce children would have been overwhelming for him. The situation would be traumatic for the man as well as the woman because they would barely know each other, could possibly be distant cousins and are expected by the families to be life partners as husband and wife.
A friend of my husband's (Egyptian) had an Orfi marriage to an Australian woman that his family did not know of and when he turned 29 his family forced him to marry a 16 year old distant cousin. Our friend refused and was beaten into submission by his uncles and the marriage went ahead despite the young girl running home to her father on at least two occasions but she was always brought back to our friend. A child was produced in 9 months which is expected, but unfortunately the Orfi wife knows nothing of the child but she knows of the Egyptian marriage. The Orfi relationship continues in secret with the Australian woman visiting Egypt maybe once a year. I'm not saying that this will happen to you but just presenting a scenario for you to consider.
His lady (not verified)
answered my fear
Wed, 2012/07/18 - 02:36isis, you have answered what i feared over her post...that he may have been forced into marriage..its something i fear with my egyptian partner, hes over here in england, studying, and to be honest, i know hes missing his mum,but i dont want him going back to egypt to visit his family....ive mentioned before that he does not love his faith and that he hides this from his parents,..he never did well during ramadam. he happened to mention in passing that a family member had been to talk to his father, which made me think that his family have found him someone..he has told me in general chat about how meeting and marrying a woman happens in egypt...we live together and will get married in a britsh ceremony...
His lady (not verified)
Do you know if he has done
Wed, 2012/07/18 - 02:51Do you know if he has done his military service? Maybe hes had his call...You need to try and get him to open up and talk, i know it wont be easy..my egyptian partner can be very hard to get to talk to about whats bothering him...my partner is over here in britain, studying, he did this so we could be together..it was a long stressful time for him, finding a uni, getting all the nessersary paperwork, getting his visa, only to get a call back from the army, which ment days of travelling backwrds and forwards from his home town of tanta to cairo until it was over turned....it is now all worth every hurdle he met, as we are now living together..... i hope you can find out what is making him the way he is right now..be his confident, his listening ear..his best friend..xx
Almohamady (not verified)
What I think is going on with
Wed, 2012/07/18 - 04:25What I think is going on with him might be 1 of 2 things, either he hinted to his family that he wants to marry a foreigner and they expressed an extreme disapproval so now he is depressed and feels like he has no say in what happens in his own life.. Or he just feels depressed because of his work problems, not having a stable job basically means he is unable to save money, get ready for marriage, his life being wasted with no apparent future and going no where.. So as you could imagine, that would make any1 (especially men) feel depressed and not wanting to speak or talk to any1 ..
Just give him some time and don't pressure him to talk about it yet, you could just remind him that you care about him and you are there for him when he is ready to talk about what is bothering him, that's all you should do for now..
Just watch out for any signs of him being a gigolo, as long as he doesn't ask for money and big favors then he is probably genuine..
Anonymous (not verified)
Thanks for the advice
Wed, 2012/07/18 - 11:31Thanks everyone for your advice.
I have a feeling that the problem is as Isis mentioned, him having to marry an Egyptian girl as he is the same age bracket as her husband's friend. Also the added pressure of his work problems as per Almohamady.
I want to be here for him and to listen and understand, but he is making it so hard by his mood and his silence. I am feeling that he is taking it out on me, as all I do seems wrong at the moment. He is now appearing to be going silent as not online and not replying to my calls or sms messages.
I am so worried I have lost him.
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