A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Vikki (not verified)
Egyptian Men and foreign Women
Thu, 2010/09/09 - 12:21Hi,
I've been with my partner who is egyptian for 4 yrs, I am only 26 and he is a few yrs older, age doesn't come into it with us, it is easy say he's using me or i'm using him maybe because he is wealthy or maybe because i come from wealthy family but the thing is the reason we are together is nothing to do with money or age or anything else other than the fact that we love each other plain and simple. I understand im young and so is he but when we met he helped me i got very sick and he really took care of me and helped my mam with translation not because he wanted anything just because he was in a place at a time when someone needed help. We spend our time half and half he does not want to be in Ireland full time and I dont want to be in egypt full time I am under no illusions that everything is perfect we have to work hard at our relationship because sometimes we are apart but its worth it. I have lived in hurghada and luxor and cairo over the last 4yrs and over and over again i see the same thing I know im goin to get abuse for saying this but sometimes us women need a good shake to be woken up, how can ye love each other after a wk how can you trust someone after a week if they were the same nationality as you ya wouldnt so why believe these men, but also its not all the men some women here think they have to act a certain way like they'll tell you they dont drink or smoke and as soon as they split from there 100th husband there falling off the bar stool again its a vicious circle here but all you hear about is bad stories never good. I have never changed who I am for my partner he met me the way I am and he loves me the way I am im not egyptian and im not muslim and i never will be. When i met my partner we didnt jump into bed together we didn't get married we got to know each other and from there we fell in love. People think when you hear I Love U evrything is perfect well loving someone is the easy part in a relationship its everything that comes along with it is hard work.
Anonymous (not verified)
so true!!
Thu, 2010/09/09 - 23:58I agree with you in many ways Vikki..on the last sentence; my male friend from Egypt wanted me to go and visit him for the first time, i can not make it happen. somehow told him that i wont be coming alone, he than withdrawn..the thing is if he was mature enough to pursue me on this like; everything will be fine, i will wait for u blah blah.. i would respect him and i would have had better strength and believe in us but now it's all seem like a dust in my hand depends on a little whiff;/ i guess it all about testing him out not just jumping on first conclusion. play it harder see if the person is understandable enough..Although; i still hope to hear from him ,thinking positive ;)
Mahmoud (not verified)
hmmm
Wed, 2010/09/15 - 09:39well, good morning/evening everybody.
me as an Egyptian male i had a mixture of feelings while reading your comments, which I can agree with all of it so far,
I don't work in the tourism industry, and currently I don't live in Egypt anyway (but i miss its atmosphere so so much).
Anyway I just wanted to add something, Egypt is about 80+ million, a lot of them working in the tourism industry, but i am sure the rest of youth have even more problems than you can imagine, just because of the stupid, cowered, useless government...I pray from them.
anyway back to the point, there is many factors that formulate the Egyptian attitude, and because of the great variance between levels (financially / educationally and even religiously ) so you really can't generalize, but we can say 60% to 75% are not wow, but I don't blame them, I try to excuse them...
For example we can't deny the fact that 6ex can drive a lot of men blindly, and they would do more than a lot for a hot 5 mins (that is not only for Egtns, but that is a MALE thing), in addition to that having a lake of love relations in ages above 25, and then suddenly find someone who can offer him the care and the fine touches,
I think not every man can resist that.
Again I am not giving excuses for them, I am just looking at the picture from my view, sometimes you need to ZOOM OUT to see the full picture.
Any how, as a general advice to tourists, have the most fun you can, but put in mind it is still a different culture, different is not bad :) I am proud of my culture, and to me it is great.
good luck to all :)
Yasser (not verified)
another factor!
Mon, 2010/09/20 - 15:06hehehe i think we Egyptians men are more hot then western....well, leme say it, we can say that most sham marriages are based on mutual benefits,namely, she marries him for her desires"sex", especially grown old ladies no one looks at them in the west, and he marries her to move or flee his country for better luck and chances..its business, could mutate to a real love, who knows :D...any gurl wanna make business with me?:D..kidding
Lee (not verified)
Hi Has anyone mentioned
Wed, 2010/09/22 - 20:01Hi
Has anyone mentioned female genital mutilation/cutting? Egypt is very high in world scores at last 'google'. What effect do you think that this has had on Egyptian male sexuality?
Khalid
Typical outsider question
Wed, 2010/09/22 - 20:15This is a typical outsider question. Someone who is unfamiliar with Egyptian society.
I can give you a few facts, and you can make up your mind:
1. I do not know of any females in my family or my extended family, nor my wife's family and extended family, who have had that procedure done to them. It is not as prevalent as it seems to be portrayed in Western media. Where it is practiced, it seems to be in rural areas, and the custom transcends religious boundaries (practiced by Christians and Muslims alike). It is now outlawed by the government, but from what I hear, tradition still rules in certain areas, and trumps the law.
2. The main issue for Egyptian men is not that they are married to women with low sexual drive. The main issue is that they cannot get married at all, because of the exorbitant costs of marriage (apartment, household goods, dowry, gifts, wedding, ...etc.)
Anonymous (not verified)
Khalid-Last time I checked,
Tue, 2010/10/12 - 01:15Khalid-Last time I checked, you weren't a doctor, so how do you know whether these women are circumcized or not? I've met plenty of educated Egyptians abroad, male and female, who like you, are in denial about the prevalence of female circumcision in Egypt, because they know that outsiders will look down on them for it, so they pretend it doesn't happen.
Ask an Egyptian doctor practicing in Egypt if you want to know the real prevalence and you will find out that there are very few Egyptian women who AREN'T circumcized. They have the experience and honesty to tell the truth about this.
Khalid
Read what I wrote carefully
Tue, 2010/10/12 - 09:51Read what I wrote carefully.
This is based on observation. No one in my extended family has had this procedure done. This includes my mother's family, my wife's family, ...etc.
I never denied that it happens, but the magnitude seem to be always inflated. If it was so prevalent, I would have heard of at least some women with it done.
Look at the comments of the uber-feminist elsewhere in this thread: first she wants to blame this whole "Egyptian men deceiving Western women" on circumcision of Egyptian women, assumingly because Egyptian women would be frigid.
When another Western woman (Hanan, married to an Egyptian man) gives evidence that some Egyptian men would not marry uncircumcised woman, she wants to turn it around blame men solely for it, rather than this being an ingrained social custom.
A "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.
Then she goes in with the same colonial mentality of "civilizing the savages" and "preaching to the heathen" advocating shock therapy, like mentally ill people in asylums in the 19th century.
This discussion is not about female circumcision, and I will not let it be hijacked. Off topic comments will be removed.
Please stay on topic.
Lee (not verified)
This is a typical outsider
Thu, 2010/09/23 - 19:08This question is also asked inside Egypt. Whilst I understand your defensiveness, I think you should be looking at facts and figures, many of which originate from academics and campaigners in Egypt. I appreciate that this procedure is far less likely to be carried out within the educated, urban population but are you denying that this is not a problem? Egypt is the country that has the second highest percentage of mutilated females in the world.
My question still remains. If, historically, the significant majority of females have been cut/circumcised, would that not have an impact on the males in that society?
Khalid
Put it in context ...
Thu, 2010/09/23 - 20:18I have only seen one case where the woman was circumcised and that led to divorce. In her case, it was the fact that was labiectomy gone badly, and causing chronic urinary tract infections, causing pain during intercourse.
But this was not the only factor. There were other social and economic factors in that marriage, and this was just one of them.
You have to also take the whole context into account.
Since this is a social practice going back several millennia, it is entrenched in the psyches. In some areas of Africa, women who are not circumcised cannot even get married. There are tales of horrible things happening to men who marry uncircumcised women, ...etc.
Probably men in Egypt in families or areas that practice this habit view it as cleanliness and purity. They would probably not marry a woman who does not have that done.
So it is not like these men feel deprived of something, or the women for that matter. It only becomes an issue if someone compares with other societies. Think of, for example, arranged marriages in India/Pakistan, and because everyone does it, the other modes of getting married (knowing the spouse from work, ...etc.) are not missed.
I have never heard, in my circle of acquaintance, which is admittedly urban and educated, of a man asking if a woman he is proposing to is circumcised or not. So it may not be a big deal after all. It is simply not something that is a factor in courtship or selection.
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