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Humor: Moving to Canada

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By Khalid on 2004/01/11 - 22:19, last updated 2004/01/13 - 22:14

This is something I found on net a while back. With the weather we have been getting lately, it seems appropriate to revive it. I edited it slightly, and removed some expletives.July 1 - Moved to Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The scenery is great, the trees are so tall. Can't hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. Oct. 14 - Canada. It is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here. Nov. 11 - Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here. Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada. Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here. Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shovelling. That **** snow plow. Dec. 22 - More of that white **** fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shovelling. I think the snow plow hides around the corner until I'm done shovelling the driveway. That freaking idiot! Dec. 25 - Merry freaking Christmas! More freaking snow! If I ever get my hands on the freaking idiot who drives the snow plow, I swear I'll kill the idiot. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the freaking ice. Dec. 27 - More freaking white **** last night. Been inside for three days now except for shovelling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white **** and it's so freaking cold. The weatherman says to expect another 25 centimeters of snow again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 25 centimeters is? Dec. 28 - That freaking weatherman was wrong. We got 75 cms of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plow got stuck up in the road and that idiot came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shovelling out all the snow he had pushed into my driveway, I darn near broke my last one over his freaking head. Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those freaking beasts should be killed. They are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November. May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that salt they put all over the roads? May 10 - Moved back to Egypt. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!

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Anonymous (not verified)

I am born and raised in

Thu, 2010/05/06 - 09:25

I am born and raised in Canada..... how true!! Laughed my butt off reading this! But even so, love Canada and wouldn't trade the white **** and the snow plows for anything!

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RZ (not verified)

very nice short story

Fri, 2015/01/09 - 12:00

very nice short story, I hope it is not totally true

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