A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Anonymous (not verified)
I need advice!
Wed, 2015/10/21 - 16:55I'm married to an Egyptian. We met in Hurghada, when I was on vacation. I already had heard about the Egyptians was not the first time in Egypt. Then I was 23 years old and he told me that he was 25. I thought I was not so old and ugly, I was used to. I always had the man's attention, and in Egypt, I was not the first time.
When we start live together I found his the documents and saw that he was a year younger than me, he said . 1 Year - it's not much , but since I was 23 then , it was strange ... he was 22 , but said that 25 I thought why he lied ? I did not tell him about it then , I thought that I did not put in a comfortable position ( now I think it was necessary )
When we decided not to be in Hurghada for a long time and he wanted to return to Cairo and we wanted to get married there .
We thought we live in Cairo and thought that we would do there . He said that his family can help. I asked how? He said that several family members each month make a certain amount and when someone needs a large amount - he takes it and returns every month , and so the circle can take each and return . It looked like a bank, but without interest . He had the idea to open a store or buy apartment renovated , if there is enough money and this "family care " would help .
We decided that for the good of our future so we can give money every month in the amount of about $ 500 , it should be added , too, as soon as all is well with the work . It so happened that I was at home, send money 3 times , and each time a little more , because he said it was better so we can collect the amount bystree.Kogda I came to prepare documents for marriage , but without the right amount of money month because she wanted him to pay - I did it when a problem with his aunt , which he said kept all the money .
So they had a fight and I thought , because we missed payments and get out of the system. Then I did not like that they quarrel because of the money , it was in the next room , and I did not understand Arabic.
I said I can do it ourselves and we need to pick up the money . But he told me that the money should be returned. We get married , that my aunt did not come to the wedding. I thought it was really a big problem with them.
But the money did not come back , and so we went to Hurghada where we were comfortably live and he returned to the hotel.
I did not forget about this money , it's not millions , but the fact . He promised that after nekotrye time they must return .
Soon we decided to go to Russia to my parents in the New Year . Before that, we make it a family visa in Cairo and were at home with his parents . By the time I can speak a little Arabic and I was alone with a paper with western union, I sent him before the wedding for the "family of the banking system ."
His mother look like she dont understand what i mean. I would like to know when there will be money . He did not understand what it was about , or did not know when there will be money ... I asked to ask her sister , which had a row my husband , but she said she does not talk to her now ( her sister did not even come to our wedding and everything It looks , the truth is a problem in the family ) .After she came to me and said that it is necessary to wait , because every member takes the money and yet our turn . My husband was with her , and they tried to convince me that everything is as they say .
They said that the money will be given in October of next year, as the entire "cycle" has not been completed . I stared at them in disbelief and thought that one day I know everything . So, come October, and when I ask him about the money he was nervous and said that he would give me. After he said that his family does not have time for this , his cousin was sick and they were in the hospital ( she really was sick when I was in Cairo I saw ) . But I told him to give money as they said - did not take long , and it is needed.
Once I wrote a message of his aunt and asked about the money and it also looked as if she did not understand what it was about , I wrote to her through an interpreter . But I think it was clear that we are talking about money and about her husband . My husband , after saying , why I wrote it .
As a result, he said that his family does not know !!! I thought, how ??? If his mother had told me a year ago that money back in October of next year, and I tried to prove that this is so. And he said the same thing. And I remember his words before the wedding about our plans, it would be good for us. And I believed it. I told him, then his mother lied to me and it, too? He said his mother did not know about this situation, about that money and he told her that she needed me to say, he admitted it, he told her so, and she told me about October. After that I got mad at him and began to ask the divorce. He requested, and asks for forgiveness, understands that this is a mistake. But how can you? Or I do not understand something.
I'm not a terrible old woman to use. I was 23 when we met , going to get married and when this scheme with the money I was declared as a "family care " .
When I tell him that his mother lied to get me . He says, I do not say that about my mom and that he told her that she was talking to me.
Maybe his family smiled at me, because they, too, he said, smile to my wife ?
He apologizes and says that all love me . I asked him for a divorce , but he wrote to me and said that he realized his mistake , and what he thinks about the good .
Cleo (not verified)
To"I need Advice"
Mon, 2015/10/26 - 19:18Sounds like you have been lied to and scammed big time. The sad thing is his mother was in on the scam as well. My advice is to secure a divorce as soon as possible and forget him. He has obviously not made you happy and fleeced you big time.
Anonymous (not verified)
Thanks for the answer. I
Tue, 2015/10/27 - 11:51Thanks for the answer. I asked about the divorce, he was willing to give me , but he asked his uncle and his uncle said : Solve the problem with his wife . So, he hopes that we are not divorced , and says that all realized that we are one family , and he is willing to work hard. When I blocked him , he began to write my best friend and sister that he can not live without me ... I got confused and at the same time very sad , why could not he used to do everything for me , but only to take and lie , because now he promises to do everything for me and realized that we are a family ...
Cleo (not verified)
To "I need advice"
Tue, 2015/10/27 - 19:20Egyptian men don't like rejection. He wants to continue controlling you hence the loving declarations.They lie easily and their Egyptian wives never query them. However women from outside Egypt need the truth because that is how we are raised. Yes - you are all "one family" on your money. Divorce is not a favoured option in Egypt but you will need to find a way through this or he will ruin your life. Please don't get confused and try and see everything in perspective. He is scamming you and wants to continue scamming you.
Anonymous (not verified)
This is true not just for me.
Wed, 2015/10/28 - 09:47This is true not just for me. I know he lied to me for a long time and he admitted at the end of it. But every day, he says , that all understand and correct . Maybe the truth does not want to lose the victim ? or divorce is not good for his family ? Why then he promises to be corrected if I see after some time, if it is not true , and he knows that I do not believe him ...
Cleo (not verified)
The truth
Wed, 2015/10/28 - 19:07He is just stringing you along. It is up to you whether you accept his words but it seems he is trying to confuse you. My advice is to not give him any more money and see where that leads.
Anonymous (not verified)
Wait and see
Wed, 2015/10/28 - 19:28I agree with Cleo, if you love him and want to give him another chance, then do so. BUT no money... see how he is.. even after a few months, say the money is all gone.. Best of luck.
Anonymous (not verified)
Thanks for ur advice
Wed, 2015/10/28 - 20:11Thanks for ur advice... Yes, i dont must to give any money... and must think about we have futhure or no.
Anonymous (not verified)
Continue story
Sun, 2015/12/20 - 15:14Anyways, i stay at home, i wrote my story up... New Year soon, my husband ask me fly to him. He told me his mother has problem with eyes, i dont belive him bcz i heard many stories how egyptian guys talk about opeartion and ect... I asked sister his mom in facebook and she did send me picture of his mom, she has something on her eyes... Looks so real. He dont aak for help, he know i will dont send,but he cant sendme for ticket all money, as he told me he spend on his mom and ect, he care about her. I said i will dont fly by my money. He said i dont feel him, i dont understand... I think its manipulate and he try make me feel sad about his mom (im sad if she really have problem, but money,no). I wanna know what Mr Klahid this about? Thanks
Anonymous (not verified)
Reply to the lady whose husbands mother has bad eyes
Mon, 2015/12/21 - 04:21I know how you feel, but it is just a ploy to make you put your hand in your pocket - my 'husband' had an uncle who needed major heart surgery, a brother with cancer needing expensive treatment and his mum needed a serious operation on her back. All I can say is - these West Bank families must be so unhealthy. He didn't get a penny by the way!
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