A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Anonymous (not verified)
He is palyer or
Mon, 2015/12/21 - 13:26He talk not first time about problems. But i know its way to get money. He dont ask me about help to his mom and i will dont send also, bcz he take from me enough before. He know i will dont send. He promised me in the airoport when i flying from him he will take flat soon for us to live alone without his family (it was end of July). So, December now. He dont have money for flat and he cant send me money for ticket, only 100$ as he said... And after that he talk i must feel him this time. lol I did it before many time. I dont want somebody play with me. He talk about he help to his mom and he has problems before with his health but he dont ask me money when i fly to home last time. Maybe he dont has problems, just he wanna show me maybe he spend his money for his problems and he dont have enough for flat as he promised me (not buy, just for rent). He live in Cairo. He work in show business with Oka and Ortega. I think egyptian know this peopel, they popular in Cairo, on TV and one of them- singer Oka marriad last summer on egyptian woman, she is TV star, Maya kasab, egyptian must knwo this people, she is older him for 8-9 yaer old as my husband told me. SO, egyptian guys marry on older egyptian also. My husband work with them. He is 24 old. But i cant see money from him for easy things for me - official wife. Any advices?
Anonymous (not verified)
To the lady with mother who has bad eyes
Mon, 2015/12/21 - 15:29I had my 'husband' investigated, they found he had 2 more wives one Egyptian, one other English - I had no idea, his mother and brother never told me anything, his Egyptian wife had at the time I met him 2 children, he told me he had divorced her. The investigator found he had 3 children the last one born in March this year - actually when I was with him in Luxor!! He tried to take money from me because he had problems with his car and he needed it to work -£600. I sat him down and told him everything I knew, showed him photos that the agent had taken, of his pregnant wife, showed him pictures of him and the other English woman. He sat there and lied and lied and lied - so I kicked him out and he cried. He ran to his friends and begged them to come to me and plead for him. He even got his Egyptian wife to Face Time me and tell me I should be together with her husband because I make him very sad. There is something in the Egyptian mans's mind that just sees western women as a bank account - that's it, that's all we are. So do yourself a favour kick him out, don't go back to him. If you go back to Egypt don't let him know, I live there now because I love the country but not the men!!
Anonymous (not verified)
to lady who has husband with other wifes
Mon, 2015/12/21 - 19:20You were officially married? Or Orfi? I'm married officially. But I know that Muslims can have four wives. But if you're officially married, why you did not know at the time of the marriage, that he was already married to another? I am now in a very big doubts to return to it or not. So I flew away from him, because there were a lot of doubts to be with him or not. He knows that I did not send him the money, I do not want to go at their own expense, even though I was flying before his own expense, and he flew to Russia to visit my parents, too, at our expense. But if they want money, why he wants me back? He knows that I arrive without money (before I had any money with him, and on the map). He tells me to arrive without money. Or he hoped that I would take the money with me and he can take them to "us" not to spend yourself? Maybe he hopes ....
Maria (not verified)
Hi there you seems to know
Mon, 2015/12/21 - 19:01Hi there
you seems to know more then us whats coming to you by now, dont you?.
To be honest with you I would tell him that you are back home now and the game is over. Tell him you started a new page and even you are getting soon married and your new boy friend wont like you talking to other men and Egyptian people respect that.
This is only if you want to close the case and instead just start a fresh page and enjoy your life.
Anonymous (not verified)
To Maria
Mon, 2015/12/21 - 19:34It looks as though everyone thinks he's really not right, his actions can not be justified. My friends do not even know all , they say that he is wrong and I deserve a better man. My parents also do not know everything , but what they know - they do not like . People in other forums are also advised me to flee from him . But I do not know what to do. I knew about the Egyptian men before I met him , I did not trust them before meeting with my husband , but ...
I'm still married. I would like to block it everywhere, I did it, but I understand that I can not block it and forget it and do not resolve the issue of divorce. I wanted to get a divorce, but all the papers at my husband in Cairo. We need to address this issue in any way. I only have a copy of the marriage. If I had a paper on marriage, I would have divorced her home in Russia through the courts. But my husband does not want a divorce, I had asked. I think he will not send me the documents of marriage by mail as well. I can not start a new relationship, even if I wanted to. I began to believe more in God, I am a Christian, he knows that I do not want to be a Muslim, and do not want my future children to be Muslims.
Maria (not verified)
It will cost you.
Mon, 2015/12/21 - 21:01Be in mind if he refuse a divorce, then his still believe his bank account is open, lol. Try what ever it takes to close this dogy relationship.
How on earth would you go back to someone who wants money for divorce? and in the same way his asking you back?. Its just a game of pay pay pay.
I am a Muslim and I believe in God too, but i am sure this got nothing to do with God/Allah. ( its doesn't matter what God you believe ) This sort of people are not wanted by any God. Good lack to you and i really feel sorry, but my advise is you can tell its a fishy relationship, therefore close it asap before any more damage you create for your self.
Anonymous (not verified)
To Maria. He dont want money for a divorse, BUT...
Tue, 2015/12/22 - 14:40Thanks for the advice! But he does not say that he wants money for a divorce ! Never. Of course, if he said so , I would have realized that he sees only money . I mean, when I found out that he was doing before ( you can read my story 1-2 pages earlier) , I asked him for a divorce. I also flew away from him because they do not see changes in finance.
But he does not allow divorce. He hoped that I would return. Yes, I am a little sorry for everything. I can not say that I have a bad relationship with his relatives. Or they play well or they really treated me well tuned. Maybe because of this I am sorry. But there was a situation where he had meyan ask money before our wedding, future apartment, we doldny been collected, I sent him $ 1,500 when I saw that he was not about the money, I stopped to give him, but he said that his aunt manages the finances, they have it, and it will soon give them. When I asked my mother my husband when I see the money, they do not understand what it was about.
When she came to my husband into my room and said that she will give ottyabre in 2015. Already in December . I reminded him that . He said that his mother and family do not know about that money . It turns out he spent them all on his own and did not give aunt and my mom said the right words , and she gave me these words , that money will return in October 2015. It looked strange, but I did not trust . I think time will tell. My husband says that his mother does not know what he told her about the money , that he would give them to me , and she told me so .
After that, I began to ask the divorce . So it seemed to me that his whole family lied to me. It's a little , but he forced his mother to lie about money , buyout , he took me . Yes, we are not angels , but to lie to his wife about money - to me it is insulting .
Anonymous (not verified)
To the lady with the husband in Cairo who has the marriage paper
Tue, 2015/12/22 - 20:36I don't know your situation financially, but if you are properly married, your husband must support you financially and there should've been a dowry. Without this the marriage is not legal - did you read through the marriage contract? What financial agreement was made? Did you have this translated into Russian so that you understood what you were signing? Do you have your copy or does he have everything in Cairo? I say this because my friend from Sweden was married in Cairo and when things went wrong her husband told her she owed him 100,000LE because she had agreed to it in the marriage contract and signed it. She was told if she didn't pay she would go to prison until the sum was paid. She had no idea that this was in the contract and she was so scared her family paid. While you are outside Egypt this can't happen to you but I would check what you signed before you go back - I think you shouldn't go back. Leave him, he has something up his sleeve, I don't trust him, he could even have paid a lawyer to draw up a different financial agreement - they are capable of anything. One thing is for sure if he is begging you to come back to him he knows he will get money from you! Good luck
Anonymous (not verified)
Thx for the answer, contract with him
Wed, 2015/12/23 - 13:42Thanks for the answer. Many people write to me, so I left her husband. But why - that I have doubts about this, but I also have doubts about his sincerity and a future with him, because he had lied to me (asked for money $ 600 to study the Russian language, but did not study it in Cairo, as money in the future apartment, we started to collect toko, but the money I did not see, only $ 1,500, well, some things, but the money for them, he did not back). Now he tells me that he's aware and want a good family with me. It rings true, but I do not believe him (his first words about the apartment and language courses and much more, too, sounded truly).
The contract , legalized in the Russian embassy had (electronic certificate is also translated into Russian ) .
Before we put fingerprints on the contract , we were in one room and one person asked me if I wanted to write something in the contract , and said that he asks me, not my husband . I have not pointed out . Although before the marriage , I would like to specify the issue of children , etc. But I understand that it is a Muslim country and the first thing will be to act the laws of Egypt.
Anonymous (not verified)
Continue my story about husband in Cairo
Wed, 2015/12/23 - 13:51Of course, now I realize that it was necessary to point out that the husband should pay all the costs. But I thought that the husband should understand this, and I did not mind sometimes go in his position, since we became a family. But life has shown (we got married in May 2014), I need to go to its position very often. Now, too, as he promised me at the airport at the end of July this year, when I decided to fly home (leaving a lot of things, because I just wanted to fly and see what happens next), it will remove a single property in Cairo, we were with his parents, but we are young. He was 24, I was 25 (he lied to me about his age when meeting) and we need to live alone, but in a separate housing, he has not earned, just for renting.
He said that he had problems with health including , he spent on a campaign to vrachu.Libo work was not every day ( he works in Cairo in show business , staged shows for the music group ) . Now he wants me to come back. First, he wanted me for my money arrived , as he spent the money to his mother ( another problem , I saw the photos, but do not know it's true or not, look real ) .
But now he says he can send the money for the ticket step by step. But the point to return if he did not fulfill the promise at the expense of the apartment? maybe I strongly carp . But I want to rent an apartment , do not buy . He lied to me before, Yana can trust as well. H is now asking for all the bad things he forget to believe in him and nachto him a good life.
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