A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
gullible (not verified)
Thank you again for your
Tue, 2010/01/05 - 14:54Thank you again for your frankness. I read this site every time I get tempted by his offers! And he keeps emailing and texting. It is so sad really. I never dreamt that I would be looked on as 'prey' when I went on holiday to Egypt on my own. I loved the place and thought that every one was just being friendly! Yes - I was naive! But I still would love to return on Monday! Especialy bearing in mind the weather in England!
Khalid
Friendly = OK, Too friendly = Not
Tue, 2010/01/05 - 15:34Most Egyptians are friendly to tourists. That is something everyone observes there when they go. It is different from the coldness/aloofness that you see in the West, and therefore it is more noticeable.
I would like to believe that most of the workers that you met are friendly because this is their nature, and that only a few are scammers.
Being too friendly and then vowing love and such is where things start to get wrong.
Don't confuse the two ...
Anonymous (not verified)
screwed over by a tunisian,
Sun, 2010/01/03 - 02:05screwed over by a tunisian, his name is mtir bel hadj hassen but he goes by the stage name of Dj James, he worked at the hotel phenicia in Hammamet and he has been known to work at the British bar, manhattan nightclub and cheers bar all in hammamet. I dated him for almost a year, we planned to marry and i to move to tunisia, i met his family and recieved gifts from them. I thought we were in love, after some time he asked to borrow some money i got the old army story but foolishy i fell for it, i didnt think he was like what i had heard, he was so genuine and i had met his family and spent alot of time out there. after i sent him the money i never heard from him again until someone from tunisia called me up and threatened to kill me if i returned to tunisia. Many of the boys who work in the animation teams at the hotels all do the same, dont be fooled by them. I lost over £700, a laptop, a mobile phone and dvd's. I also found out he had various women on the go at the same time and he would arrange that when one left another would arrive.
Angie (not verified)
Con men family
Wed, 2016/12/28 - 17:35Hi- was the family in on the con too? My Tunisian boyfriend introduced me to his family,which I thought meant that he really loves me?
Anonymous (not verified)
Help!
Tue, 2010/01/05 - 19:48Ok My story is I met an egyptian man he is from town near el monofia.we met in Sharm we have been in contact for over 1 year now and it didn't stop when i came home. I've been over to see him now 4 times since the initial visit. He has also been over to visit me I am european and I paid for his flight becos he couldn't afford it, I offered he didn't ask me. He was granted a visa and did have money with him when he came here for 2 weeks and he met my family etc. He is a mulim and I am a catholic. He is very sweet and we speak to each other every day via text / skype / msn etc. We are now engaged to be married in February of this year and I have ust sorted out my paperwork for same, I just dont' know after reading this am I being crazy. I am 31 he is 26. I am also very attractive and I know that sounds strange but I just wanted to say that I look egyptian but I am not I'm white that was my attraction to him he thought i was egyptian. I will be meeting his family now in Feb then we will get married in Cairo. Do you think I am insane should I trust him now Im really worried from reading this forum. I have been doubting myself so much and just dont know I mean I love him and I know he loves me but now I'm starting to panic after all these. I m not a stupid person and i'm a good person and not niaive but maybe I am being led?? Please help me out here with any comments
Thank you
Khalid
Can't say ...
Tue, 2010/01/05 - 20:44Being naive or stupid helps the scammers, but even being sharp and alert is no guarantee for not being scammed. You are in a different culture, different social norms, ...etc. so be careful.
Well, the age difference is relatively not that big. Perhaps not big by European standards, but more so under Egyptian standards. It is not like you are in your 50s and he in his 20s. So, this is a positive point overall.
He applied for a visa and got accepted, that is positive point.
He accepted money from a woman willing to marry him. This is very un-Egyptian and goes against the culture there. This is a warning sign here.
You met him in a resort. He says he is poor. These are negative points.
"Thought you were Egyptian". I would say this is a great pickup line.
"I know he loves me". Can be true, can be convincing acting on his part, or can be self-delusion. Don't put much faith in that alone.
You have not seen his family. This is a negative point. Make sure if you do that they are indeed his family, not some staged make-believe family.
Don't know how to draw a verdict here. Borderline case, perhaps? Others may be able to comment here and help more.
Anonymous (not verified)
Help
Wed, 2010/01/06 - 16:37Thanks Khalid can I ask you are you Egyptian?
I will be meeting his family at the end of this month when I go over and we are meant to be marrying but I'm totally having doubts now. He told me he was not poor but he's not rich. He Bought me an engagement ring here in my country and borrowed money from his friend who works in Italy (married to an italian woman) albeit not an expensive one but he bought me one all the same. I bought the flight for him but he told me he didn't want me to get it but I said that I wanted to see him so much and I wanted everyone in my country to meet him and to see if he liked it here that's why I paid and really it made me feel ill to do this but I did because I love him. Do you think it could never possibly work out? what can he scam from me? I dont send him any money i never have done and he has never asked me for any, but when I've been there i have paid for most things but that is because I know he doens't earn what i earn being realistic. He didn't pick me up so to speak he worked where i was staying and we wereout with a friend of his who worked on the beach and 2 european girls who also worked in sharm. I've seen his family on the internet. he has 3 sisters. now I'm paranoid that one is his wife after what i've read. I feel sick really after reading all this I just dont know what to think. He's really a nice guy i think but not in a sleazy way. He's not really that gorgeous but I fell for him, i'm much more attractive than him. Im just concerned I do think he loves me really and he said that he doesn't even want to leave Egypt but he is for me is that just to put me off the scent??
Thanks!
Khalid
Not sure ...
Wed, 2010/01/06 - 18:34Yes, I am Egyptian, born and raised there. I now live in Canada though.
I feel conflicted in this particular case: I want to protect you from potential harm, but also do not want ruin something that can be successful. As I said, it looks like this is a border line case. Not clear black and white, like other cases where I can say it is definitely a scam.
I really wish Ann/Hanan would pitch in. She is British woman married happily to an Egyptian man. I will try to dig up her email address and put you both in touch with each other.
Anonymous (not verified)
Khalid thanks. I'm just so
Thu, 2010/01/07 - 15:15Khalid thanks. I'm just so stressed out about this now I had my my mind up and your forum has totally changed my mind! But doesn't he need to get a letter to say he's free to marry like i have had to do? How could I find out if he's married? He is from a small village near Tanta do you know of this place? He told me it's rural. Maybe he wants to get out Egypt an does want a visa from me I dont think it's money because he's never asked me for any but then again I would pay for the accommodation etc when i've been over.Im confused..! Marraige is no Joke really. Im meeting his family first though. He told me he loves Egypt and his life there sure he's in a resort livig a party life although working long and hard. Should I believe this? He's very proud of his country, he also has a degree and told me he can't get a job in his field due to the poor ecomony and lack of jobs etc.
Thanks...
Khalid
Answers
Thu, 2010/01/07 - 15:46Here are some answers:
1. If you decide to break with him, then yes, notifying him is the proper action to do.
2. How can you know he is married? Very hard, unless you know someone who can go to his village and ask about him using his full name and age, then asking his parents and relatives.
3. Tanta is in Gharbeya governorate, not in Menoufia as he told you. However, there has been a rezoning of governorates in the recent past, so maybe his village is now in Menoufia? Not sure, but if you get the name of the village, you can look it up on Google Maps - Tanta and Wikimapia - Tanta.
4. Lack of job and economy could be true.
5. Perhaps you should wait and see his family, then form an opinion. Make sure they are his real family though and not a staged one.
It is hard for me to form an opinion here. I email you and Ann/Hanan for a second opinion. Check your email/junk mail if you did not see it.
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