A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Anubis (not verified)
Some Advice Needed before I do something I may regret...
Thu, 2010/02/04 - 11:24First and foremost, thanks to Khalid for setting up this site. Reading the posts here has been very illuminating and I am grateful for its existence. I feel quite sad for some of the incidents that I have read about. I hope I will not fall into the same trap…
About Me:
I am British from mixed decent. In Egypt I dressed quite modestly and kept a distance from Cruise staff and men in general.
My story:
I have just returned from a week cruising down the Nile and visiting some of the most amazing temples and treasures of Egypt. My intention before embarking on the trip was to reward myself for all my hard work over last year - whilst also treating my mother to a holiday. I was not looking for romance or any such thing (not the kind of thing you plan for when your on holiday with your mum). Then I encountered the Cruise’s masseur!
After two occasions of him trying to sell the massages to me and my mum, I caved in on my birthday when I was offered a free massage in light of the special day. I would only let him massage my feet. It was nice and we started to chat…I had just turned 30 and he had just turned 26. He was extremely attractive and had a well toned (and obviously well cared for) body, a lovely smile and cheeky manner. He was confident and his English was excellent. I was impressed, intrigued and cautious all at the same time.
After some cajoling he managed to convince me to meet him in the evening – but I was not to tell the staff on the boat as he was not allowed to date cruise customers and if he did he would be at risk of loosing his job. I played along…
On my birthday he took me to a wonderful café where we smoked shisha and learned about each other. Things moved quite quickly and we kissed. I was surprised by how forward he was in his manner, but enjoyed it non the less.
To cut a long story short, I carried on meeting him in secret and slept with him. He took me around some of the bars in Luxor and I must admit that we had a lovely time. He was very romantic – said all the right things, presented me with a lovely scarf on my birthday…would not let me pay for anything…
He said that he had had an English girlfriend in the past (when he was 21) and that she came and stayed in Luxor – he said she was 21 too. Apparently she stayed for a few months. He also spoke about another girl from different European country.
He said he sometimes find older women trying to hit on him – which is not too surprising given his profession. I wonder whether he actually offers ‘extras’ to increase his income. Is this common?
He wants me to come over and texts me romantic stuff. I’d like to visit him, but don’t want to be taken for a ride and fear that he might be a con artist par excellence.
I’m not sure whether he is for real or not.
He’s not a Muslim – he’s a Coptic Christian.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Khalid
You already know the answer ...
Thu, 2010/02/04 - 12:54I think you already realize you were being taken for a ride, and you were playing along and enjoying it while it lasted.
Not sure why you are continuing this further ... yes they can be nagging and continue to text and all that.
You already know the answer.
Hope others will chime in.
Isis (not verified)
Cruise Boat Masseur
Fri, 2010/02/05 - 07:13Please be wary of this man and do not go back to Luxor to visit him. Surely from his story you can see that he has had many western women and you would be (and have been) just another notch in his belt. These men are after all they can get from unsuspecting female tourists and have no shame. They know the flattering talk and how it all works. Even as I type this he will be luring his next victim.
Anubis (not verified)
Thanks
Sat, 2010/02/06 - 05:33Thanks to you both. So sad that it has to be this way - would have enjoyed the dream, but that's how it will remain. I certainly won't take any risks for this guy no matter how much he sweet talks me. Talk is cheap. None the less, I love Egypt and will return one day...but to see the history and it's beauty. Thanks for your comments and thank hod for the Internet! X
Hannah (not verified)
your coptic christian
Sun, 2010/02/07 - 10:48Please don't take this man serious. you will be hurt. One day he will marry an Egyptian girl who will be a virgin, yes I know it is double standards, but a lot of these men will have sex where they can, then only want a virgin for a bride.
I am married to an Egyptian man, we have two children and in case you are wondering, yes, I was a virgin, I asked my husband if we had slept together first, if he still would have married me, he said if it was quick then no, but while we were engaged then maybe.
As it was, when I went there after meeting him I stayed at his parents house, so there was no chance anyway.
Move on and next time, if there is one, don't allow intimacy, then if it is real he will wait for you.
Hanan UK.
Jenna (not verified)
This is True...
Sun, 2010/02/07 - 12:37This statement is very true...
lulu (not verified)
What was this mans name?
Sun, 2012/05/13 - 09:01What was this mans name?
Anonymous (not verified)
cruise masseur
Sun, 2013/07/21 - 04:45can you please tell us his name, the masseur? By any chance was it "Bebo/Bahaa"?
jenna (not verified)
Just my "two cents"
Sat, 2010/02/06 - 17:35I would like to interject my "two cents worth". I am an American woman married to an Egyptian man (living in Egypt). My husband is absolutely wonderful, if chivalry is dead, they didn't tell him. He's supportive, kind, considerate, helpful around the house (cooks too), faithful, loving, protective... there are many more positive adjectives I can use to describe him but I think you got my point.
The difference, he's not in the tourism industry, we are both the same age and we live in Cairo in a flat he provided (a nice one at that). My husband has confirmed that most of the Egyptian men in the tourist industry are not to be trusted and just low-life, sorry to generalize, but really...
Khalid
Thank you!
Sat, 2010/02/06 - 17:50Jenna,
Thank you fro sharing your experience. You have confirmed what I am trying to say all along: tourism workers do not portray what Egyptians are like. It is best for tourists to avoid socializing or getting close with tourism staff for their own good.
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