Warning to female tourists thinking of marrying Egyptians

It is extremely rare for a woman to offer money for sex, and there are only an extremely limited number of cases where women — usually over 40 — become involved with young Bedouin men and, as part of the unofficial bargain, buy them cars or perhaps pay their rent.

Though this might not sound much different than any other traveler’s tryst, according to SexTourism.net, a website offering advice for male and female sex tourists, this is generally how sex tourism plays out for women around the globe. While men usually just want sex, the site explains, “Female sex tourists on the other hand are more interested in having a holiday romance or fling — which may or may not result in sex. Women rarely pay for sexual or romantic encounters with men during sex tours — however there are a small number who seek the services of male prostitutes or ‘gigolos’ when abroad.”

Still, many Bedouins downplay the extent to which women are coming to the desert in search of sex or inadvertently happening upon it when they arrive. When asked if he’d heard of Western women on the prowl for Bedouin men in Petra, Rami Manaja joked that if they were out there, please point them in his direction.

Manaja says he is happily married and faithful to his Saudi wife. He sells jewelry in Petra and says he has visited more than 20 different countries. What he’s seen in Petra doesn’t strike him as all that different than anything that happens in exotic destinations all over the world.

“Pretty much anywhere you go it’s the same: People on holiday want to have fun,” he said.

When these romantic encounters happen in the Middle East though, this type of exchange can be especially problematic as sex outside of marriage remains a serious taboo — for Muslims and Christians alike. What happens on desert camping trips defies hundreds of years of tradition and often reinforces negative stereotypes about Western women’s tendency toward promiscuity.

Mary, an American who lived in Jordan for two years and who also asked that GlobalPost not use her real name, dated a Bedouin guide in Wadi Rum for a year and a half. While she had no regrets about her relationship, she advised other Western women not to have a fling while in Wadi Rum.

“In the Middle East they have this opinion of Western women that they are very loose, and all of their suspicions are coming true in Wadi Rum. Women definitely aren’t making a good name for themselves down there,” she said.

Many women new to the region say it is difficult to immediately see the cultural divides that can create problems. For example, Pia, an Italian who had worked in Jordan for several months before traveling to Petra on vacation, admitted that she was still “ignorant."

“I went there just like I was in a Western country,” she said. When she fell for her Bedouin guide, he admitted that he was in a relationship with another woman who had returned to Italy. He said, however, that he was in an open relationship and that he was free to date.

“The Bedouin men give you the impression that they are free and have the same mentality as Western people. They tell you, ‘I am not like other Arab people, we are free.’ … Of course, it’s fake, it’s a lie.”

Pia said she discovered this when she got into a quarrel with another guide because she rejected his advance. As revenge, the slighted guide sent her phone number to the other guide’s girlfriend back in Italy. Pia stopped her flirtations with the guide after that incident. Later, she said she called his girlfriend in Italy and learned that the woman was paying his rent and planning to give up her acting career in Italy to move to Petra for him. The guide told Pia that his main reason for keeping the relationship with the other woman was because she paid his rent.

Walking the canyons of Petra, it’s not uncommon to see many foreign women swoon over the local men. At Love Lion, a snack shop in the ancient city of Petra, a young, female tourist from the U.S. approached a Bedouin man. “Excuse me,” she said, embarrassed. “But you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. Can I please take your picture?” The vendor already had a serious girlfriend in Portugal.

Many Bedouin men have little modesty about their appeal to women.

“There’s the cowboy in the American movies and he knows how to ride horses very well and deal with nature. He’s something different than the city man. In the movies, women fall in love with this man and maybe have sex with him in the end of the movie,” said Saleem Ali, a tour guide in Wadi Rum. “Bedouin men are pretty good looking, they climb very well, they ride horses and camels very well, and they know how make tea and cook, and deal with nature. So it’s not the fault of the girl that she falls in love with the man. It’s nature.”

In an essay Jacobs explains that Western women tend to see Bedouins as "real" men who fit neatly into “traditional stereotypes of masculinity.”

When Anne, an American who asked not to use her real name, went to the Western desert in Egypt for the first time, she said it was difficult not to become smitten.

A study abroad student in Egypt at the time, she was living in Cairo, one of the most polluted, crowded cities in the world. As in most Arab cities, it’s often difficult for Westerners to cross the cultural divide and immerse in the local culture. For Anne and many of her friends, the Egyptian oases provided both an escape from the city and a way into the local culture.

“It was so romantic to go out and be in the White Desert and I guess it was a little bit of trying to integrate too,” she said. “It’s just such a beautiful place and [the guide] knew where he was going, he was so confident, so there was that. But for some other people, it was just fun for them.”

After spending a year in Egypt where she had a casual relationship with a Bedouin guide whom she came to consider a close friend, and working for two years in Jordan, Anne said that she’d met many young women who’d had a desert fling. On a camping trip of all girls, she said, it would be very normal for at least one girl to hook up with one of the guides.

“It’s fun, and if you’re not dating anyone else then why not? You’re spending all night with these people, if you were going out to a club and you ended up spending all night with someone, I mean, chances are something is going to happen,” she said, adding: “They cook you dinner, too. It’s pretty nice.”

During one of his first trips as a tour guide, Suleman Zalabeh said he was startled when a European woman began making out with another guide in front of him. Three years later, Zalabeh, now 21, said he’d had sex with more than 25 tourists. He recently got engaged to a local woman and said he’d stopped having relationships with other women and that his wife didn’t know about his past.

Although Zalabeh enjoyed most of these encounters, looking back he said he now felt conflicted. “I’m not proud of these things,” he said. As a Muslim, he said he felt some remorse for having sex outside of marriage.

According to Attayak Zalabeh, manager of a tour company in Wadi Rum, experiences like Suleman Zalabeh’s are common. Most guides begin working when they are 18 or 19 years old, a prime age for sexual experimentation. After several years, they get married and shortly move into management jobs where they spend less time working directly with groups in the desert.

As a young man, Attayak Zalabeh, now in his mid-30s, had several relationships with foreign women. Now married, he said he advised his young employees against doing as he did.

“If you are a guide, you find out it’s true [that you should avoid relationships with foreign women]. As a guide, it’s not good to try to go with women, because it’s not good for business,” he said, explaining that if a tour guide is busy focusing on one woman, they neglect the rest of the tour group and create unhappy customers. More importantly, he worried about young men getting sexually transmitted diseases and violating their commitment to Islam.

Tom A. Peter — GlobalPost

I hope that the previous article tells you what I ment in all previous posts.

it is pretty clear that you do this every where it's not only egypt so againe stope

weeping just fasten the belt and enjoy the act.

im sorry for saying this but egypt use to be country of histort that was 10 years ago now in western country thay say if u wanna have sexsual trip go to egypt thats mean must of tourist here dont care about history thay care about sex so thay know what thay doing . we wish every body to be carefull but its not only egypt its every were in uncivilaid country

pleas all read carefully the article from it's begening the first part is in the previous page.

and to make it easy for you i cited some imprtant parts out of the article.

(((What happens in Jordan is far from the extremes of women’s sex tourism found in
Places like Jamaica and Kenya and Senegal, where women reportedly “rent” men for a set period of time. However, the kingdom is developing a reputation as a destination for women looking for an exotic rendezvous. Jo Magazine, a prominent local magazine, ran a cover story last summer, online sites like Escape Artist Travel have listed Jordan as a female sex tourism destination, along with Southern Europe, the Caribbean Basin, Kenya in Africa, and to a lesser extent Central America, the South Pacific and Morocco)))

(((“In the Middle East they have this opinion of Western women that they are very loose, and all of their suspicions are coming true in Wadi Rum. Women definitely aren’t making a good name for themselves down there,” she said.))) and i'm adding to this they aren't making a good name for themselfs at Wadi Rum and every where they go.

(((Pia stopped her flirtations with the guide after that incident. Later, she said she called his girlfriend in Italy and learned that the woman was paying his rent and planning to give up her acting career in Italy to move to Petra for him)))

by the way they are talking about Jordan here not egypt. so it is every where, it is not only those guys who are wrong it is also those western undiscipline, loose women who have the same problems every where. by the way the article didn't list Egypt as a knowon place for casual sex so the problem is much simpler in egypt than any where else.