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Warning to female tourists thinking of marrying Egyptians

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By Khalid on 2008/11/22 - 20:17, last updated 2008/12/28 - 15:53

A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.

Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.

Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.

So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.

The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:

Easy and Free Sex

Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.

A source for Money

Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.

An Opporunity for Immigration

Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.

Why it works?

There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.

One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.

Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.

Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.

Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.

Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.

Blacklists

Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.

  • An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
  • Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
  • Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
  • Wanted List of Egypt.
  • Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
  • KunstKamera blacklist.

Happens everywhere, not only Egypt

Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.

The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.

Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.

So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.

Final Thoughts

There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.

The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.

So, beware ... 

Further Reading

  • Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
  • Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
  • Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
  • Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
  • Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
  • Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
  • Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
  • List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
  • A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
  • Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
  • An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Contents: 
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Comments

zampokh (not verified)

Thank you. You added a lot to

Mon, 2010/05/31 - 03:24

Thank you. You added a lot to this thread. Keep in touch please. We will miss your comments

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

a real letter from a guide from Aswan

Mon, 2010/05/31 - 02:02

Fortunately, Hany and I never had sex or any other kind of "love story"...but this still upsets me because I thought I had made a friend. Look familiar? I just posted it on kunstkamera.net in The English Corner, too. :)
---
hello my sweet
i dont know how to say it to you i like you and its more than i like you from the first min i met you in aswan airport then when i know you in the next 3 days i know it canot happend from the first time specily for one like me met alotof pepole every day am working for almost 10 years now but the feeling i have towards u was diffrent
i talk to u when we were chat befor but u told me u had aboy friend u dont know what this made to me
and u r far away from me but this can easy to solve u can come to me or icome to u
am always want to be by ur side see u every min from the day and the night feel u touch u
hug u and let my eyes enjoy seeing u and my ears enjoy lesten to ur voice
i promise u i will never let u down or make u angry or upset u and i promise u to make u happy will be my target in life but to be together
may be u think am crazy but this is the whole story i like u and want to be with u the only thing i wish in the world i want see and hug u tight i like u more than the water in the earth and more than the stars in the sky
hany

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

this Hany, was not a guide on

Mon, 2010/11/08 - 04:32

this Hany, was not a guide on cruise ship by any chance. I think that I may have encountered him too and I thought that I had made a friend too, only to be disappointed by his lies.

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

True Story (Egypt - Italy)

Wed, 2010/06/02 - 15:30

I'm egyptian and i`ve been married to an italian woman for 4 years 5 months and we have 2 kids now. We lived in italy for 1 year 6 month and i didn't like it so we went back to Egypt and we live here now. Because of the kids school we are going back to Italy. By the way i didn`t take the italian passport until now because i didn't ask for it, so the marriage wasn't for the nationality, it was for love and i'm still in love with her, she's my wife and the mother of my kids, i'm telling u all this because we met online and we`ve been chatting for only 3 months. She came to Egypt to visit me for 4 days then she left and came back on 05-07-2004 and we got married on 09-07-2004.
i'm open mind guy i drink i party i do everything but it's always different when it's about marriage, the egyptian guy needs a woman to be always for him and only him, when he loves his love is true, and don't believe him if he tells u that he will be different man because he will not change. so i want to tell u that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, maybe he just want a passport and maybe he loves so u have to be careful, end of story getting married to egyptian man it's not easy step, so u have to think very very well, meet his family, get to know him well and then decide... If you are still very young so don't rush things. GOOD LUCK

  • reply

zampokh (not verified)

thank you man, this is the

Thu, 2010/06/03 - 07:49

thank you man, this is the true egyptian, not the picture those crazy women are trying to show here.
and as I said before, for a regular egyptian who represents 90% of our community marrying a western woman is not an opportuinty but the opposite is true.

marrying an egyptian is a real opportunity for those women who lack emotions, sense of security and real men in their home lands.

congratulation man twice, first for refusing their passport (me also has refused the American passport) and second for your insist to raise your kids on the egyptian traditions.

we need generations who are confident of them selfs, know the value of their countery, know how to comunicate with the whole world with dignity, take the their good and leave their shits.

Egypt is great, man. and for those who are not happy with this, its their choice, our gates are opened wide,leave it.

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

True Story (Egypt - Italy) 2nd comment

Fri, 2010/06/04 - 01:54

zampokh ?!!!
What are you saying exactly ?!!!
It's not a war man, come on, calm yourself a little, before you sit on your keyboard and start your imaginary war,
I didn't 'refuse' the italian passport, don't use my words in a wrong indirect way,
i said "i didn't ask for it, because i didn't need it"
but when it's important for me and my family (wife and kids) why not ?!!!
People like you, are the reason of our 'picture' outside,
you are talking about 'Egyptian' as if , it's the chosen preferred people for the sky,
come on give yourself a break.
I just wanted to give the people, Egyptian and western, men and women, a true example of my life, so at least try to respect it.
and also i said "i'm open mind guy i drink i party i do everything"
so don't put your head judging me, if i need a court and judgement, i know where to find..
So thanks for you, that you made me write again and explain the facts, better than using my words in indirect way.
and please, try to think twice before you post your sentence, that really reflect as if we are all closed minded.
So, this is an invitation for you man, to widen your angle of vision a little.

Lastly, again all what i wanted to say, from my true story is :
sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, maybe the man just want a passport and maybe he loves, so u have to be careful, end of story getting married to egyptian man it's not easy step, so u have to think very very well, meet his family, get to know him well and then decide...

Thanks for all open minded guys and ladies who read it.

  • reply

zampokh (not verified)

my friend i know well what

Fri, 2010/06/04 - 13:33

my friend i know well what you meant, and I tried much to take the good points in your post although that I'm totatlly aganist your understanding of the meaning of (open minded), who told you that you have to drink to be an open minded person, who told you that you have to adopt the western way of thinking to be a civilized person.
I noticed that from your post but I tried as much as I can to agree with you rather than conflicting with you.
but as you are so insisting,i'm asking if the educated people think this way what the ignorants would think, who told you that you have to be like them to be good , who put in your mind making them happy and complying with them will make you a nice person.

you didn't ever think to be your self what ever the others likeed or disliked why you chose to be a faint copy to make them happy. and how you will raise your kids and on what discplines, will your kids be open minded like you and drink like you and would your daughter be open minded like you and find her one day between the arms of a strange guy. is this what you get from the west are these the merits we are importing from them.

and why in your opening it is difficult for a western woman to marry an egyptian and not the opposite why you chose to be the chosen and not the choosing.

my friend I know it is not a war and itsn't for me, but it is away of think. some poeple they have dignity even when they think they think with dignity.
I know it is difficult for a persone like you to understand what I'm talking, it'S far byond your intellect.

I'm sorry man for thinking of you what you are not. iam sorry Mr open minded and i hopefully your kids will be less open minede than you.

  • reply

mahmoud (not verified)

HI First I want to thank you

Sat, 2010/06/05 - 08:37

HI

First I want to thank you Khalid for ur page
I read most of the comments from the first and I get sad for all the hurt women and iam sorry for them all

So I want to share my thoughts with u
What iam saying that the key in this subject – and most of life choice -
IS KNOWING WHAT U EXACTLY WANT

I mean for foreigner women who come to Egypt, If u looking for:

- Just enjoying ur trip: then don’t interact with men in resorts cos u don’t need them

- having a good time including sex: then enjoy ur time and get back to ur home with only good memories no more

- But if u come to Egypt with hurted heart or feeling lonely and putting ur mind that u r looking for a someone to love , then u have to use ur mind much more

- If you old and u are not desired for younger men in ur country and u come to Egypt to find a young man , u must know that u r buying him with ur money or ur visa cos why he don’t look for younger women , yes being white and blond women is so desired to most of Egyptian men but still age is something u cant ignore , so this man who accept to sell him self to you for money or visa , he sure with no morals ,so what do u expect from him

- if u are a young women who looking for love there and not in ur country cos of some reasons, u have to know that most of guys who work in tourist field have no morals which make them different from most of Egyptian men in the rest of Egypt, which loyalty and kind heart is the best on them , I know many women who married to Egyptian men and live very happy - but they knew each other for a long time not just meet on a trip - that happy have a cost and that cost one of them have to pay for it more than the other .to make it easy for you to understand that

I WILL TAKE MYSELF AS AN EXAMPLE:

Iam an educated Muslim Egyptian guy I work as a maintenance engineer , I had a job offer in Sharm and Iam going to accept it , now I will be working in tourist field , I said befor most of men work in that field don’t have morals but I do have morals and principles, iam committed to my religion and I don’t drink or have sex , that mean iam a good muslim guy , but for guys who are not commetted to there religion thats the first sign that there is something worng ,( thats my opion and i think myabe some guys will not like that )

So now if Iam going to have a relationship with a foreigner women - which yes I see them desired for me so much for many reasons and yes one of the reasons is that they white and blond - but beside knowing each other for a good time and realy found that we will be happy toghter , there must be few things to happen so that relation will SUCCESS

- AGE DIFFERENT: I think age different must be about 5 years, any age different more than 10 years make life so diffcult and chance of having big broplems is so big and its better when the man is older, as women get older quicker than men

- SAME LIFE LEVEL : we must have a same or similar life level

- CULTURE ACCEPTING : that’s the most important thing in all of this , if the man will live there in her country then he must accept her culture so there will not be problems after marriage especially about kids

For me , from what I saw with my friends its work better if they will stay at Egypt when she become a Muslim , it make life much more easy for her

So really at the end I want everyone to use there mind more and don’t make sweat words blind ur minds
And

- be aware
- don’t assume truth in whatever happens
- don’t just look under ur feets, always think about future
- Relationships depend on giving and receiving so compare what u give and what u get
- Different culture mean u think different from each other!

-Finally always use ur mind to test ur partner by many ways to make sure he tell the truth, that’s really work !!

Thank you for readying my comment till now and iam sorry I made it long and sure sorry for my messy English :)

Have a nice day
Eng. Mahmoud Shahda

  • reply

Hannah (not verified)

Good for you Mahmoud, there

Sat, 2010/06/05 - 19:22

Good for you Mahmoud, there are a lot of good Egyptians like you, stay as you are, and you are right, it is better for the foreign woman to become a muslim if she will be living there, unless she marries a christian. From Hannan UK.

  • reply

mahmoud (not verified)

thank you Hannah

Sun, 2010/06/06 - 09:41

thank you Hannah for ur advice and dont worry i will :)

yes realy from what i saw with alot of my friends , any couples cant live while they both keep there culture , one of them must tottaly accept the other culture

- so if they stay at Egypt its better for foreign woman to become a muslim unless - as u said - she marries a christian but also tottaly accept the egyptian culture

- but if they going to stay at a western country i think it will be better if he is not so commited to his religion

realy wish all the best for everyone who want to have a different culture realtionship , which iam a big fan of it , its realy make connections and bridges between nations

Eng. Mahmoud Shahda
Egypt

  • reply

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