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Canadian Humor: Top 10 Reasons to Live in Newfoundland

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By Khalid on 2004/08/10 - 20:29, last updated 2004/09/07 - 18:40

Top 10 Reasons to Live in Newfoundland

  1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
  2. If Quebec Seperates, you will float off to sea
  3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod
  4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
  5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
  6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics
  7. The work day is about two hours long
  8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
  9. If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick them
  10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day
Contents: 
Canada
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Comments

Nikki Wells (not verified)

This is..

Fri, 2009/02/20 - 22:48

Question: Whats black and blue and floats in the bay?

A Mainlander telling too many newfie Jokes.

I'm proud to be a Newfie.

We have hardly any crime.

Were friendly.

and when we write atleast we don't make ourselves look stupid.

We'll leave that upto you.

  • reply

Richard Nelsom (not verified)

nonpayment & girl hate??1

Tue, 2009/06/09 - 15:39

I seemingly hit the jackpot and my reward and prize is that my identity, diploma and prze are stolen? Come on now, We (we) can do better than this!

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

You're not even funny. This

Sun, 2009/10/04 - 19:59

You're not even funny. This is not what so called "newfie" jokes are. You are completely degrading us. If you visited Newfoundland, you'd realize that you're actually the stupid one.

P.S: Neither me, nor my parents have ever fished before.

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

Lost for words

Sun, 2009/10/18 - 09:48

This is so degrading that I am seriously lost for words to describe how this makes me feel. I have friends of mine from all parts of Canada. They are amazed by the culture, the heritage, the people them selves, and up-most how beautiful and untouched the province is.
People who write is slander don't leave there own back yard and think the edges of there town/city is the end of the world and beyond this boundary are people who doesn't matter.
I worked in the tourism industry for the last 2 years and i have seen some wonderful people and people who literally made by blood boil. There is no excuse to stereotype something without exploring it yourself and doing so with a open mind and heart. Those who have been to Newfoundland know that Newfoundland is full of heart. And believe me, when you say slander like this it gets us Newfoundlanders good and in the heart, as you can see by the response that's something you do not want to do.

  • reply

Newfoundlander guy (not verified)

This is stupid. No

Sun, 2010/04/25 - 18:39

This is stupid. No newfoundlander is like this. Obv we understand the meaning to Great Big Sea songs because its so easily read. and 2 hours a day? my brother, 10 years old works longer then that a day with me or dad and we don't force him, hes just fit unlike Americans or mainlanders. Which reminds me, anyone ever wonder why Newfoundland jokes are so stupid? It's so mainlanders can understand them

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

HEY people in newfoundland

Fri, 2010/09/10 - 18:06

HEY people in newfoundland are very very hard working people people fron newfoundland work in alberta and the newfoundland flag is higher than the alberta flag in fort mac murrie

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

Get over it, it's a years old

Wed, 2011/01/12 - 20:05

Get over it, it's a years old list of jokes, not a seriously planned academic Paper on why newfoundland is terrible.

PS: My sister wore waders at her wedding reception as a joke for when her mainlander husband went to take the garter off her leg, everyone had fun, it was great.

Relax by's, we all like to say were laidback, but maybe you should prove it.

  • reply

Canadian person (not verified)

These aren't funny. The top

Wed, 2011/02/09 - 10:32

These aren't funny. The top ten reasons to live in Ontario someone posted is funnier. Though I've seen Canadian t-shirts that are absolutely hilarious. I've heard Newfie jokes that are funny. These just aren't.

The first for the journey of wisdom would be to delete this post.

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

10 reasons

Sun, 2011/04/10 - 15:23

Had to be written by a mainlander...you can come up with 10 reasons that funny not stupid... like you moved to NL to learn a new language!!!!!! We all love fun and jokes just remember we get the visitors to kiss a cod...who's the stupid one?????

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

READ THIS!

Fri, 2011/11/25 - 09:41

Newfoundland was the first province to respond to Titanic distress signal; The first to vaccinate for smallpox; The first to host a transatlantic flight; The first to have wireless communication in the world; The first place to discover proof of the theory of continental drift. We have the oldest street in North America; The oldest city in North America; The oldest rock in the world; The oldest co...(tharr be more)...ntinuous sporting event (Regatta Day rules ); The largest university in Atlantic Canada; the most pubs per square foot in Canada (George Street); the longest running radio program in North America; caught the world's largest invertebrate (giant squid). We are the funniest people in Canada (ask anybody); the sexiest people in Canada (MacLean's magazine survey); the only Province that has four identifiable flags; the only Province able to land the space shuttle (Stephenville); the most giving people in Canada (Stats Canada); the most sexually active people in all of Canada (what else are we gonna do!!). A NEWFOUNDLANDER built the world's first artificial ice arena; invented the gas mask; was once governor of northern Rhodesia; was with Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg. WE ARE THE ONLY PROVINCE TO HAVE IT'S OWN encyclopedia; dictionary; pony; dogs; cultural publication. By reading this, you now know more about Newfoundland than, well, almost everyone!! If you are a proud Newfie you will definitely send this along to others and if you are not a Newfie you would probably wish you were. And yes ba I will like to kick you too

  • reply

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