A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Jenny (not verified)
Need advice
Tue, 2010/02/02 - 12:46Just been looking at all these comments. I would like to say that I am not a tourist, never been
to Egypt. I have befriended a man on myspace who wanted to be my friend a few months ago. This quickly turned to something more. He lives in Cairo and is a music teacher. I am 59, he is 26. I have read all your comments, good and bad. He tells me he loves me, writes me beautiful emails, calls me and texts me. He has never asked for money. In fact he has offered me some, which I refused. He seems a genuine, lovely young man, but I ask myself what does he see in me. OK I am not ugly but still I am a hell of a lot older than him. He said the children thing doesnt bother him either, as he said who knows if he can have kids. He sent me photos of his family etc, but doesnt give me his address as he says he wants our relationship to be true and not based on gifts etc., alarm bells ringing here already! I haven't given him mine either. He tells me he will do anything and everything to make me happy and has asked that I go and live in Cairo. As I am writing this, I can see a little of what everyone else has written, so I think I may be answering my own question here! He tells me he loves me every day. He has also got military service to do, and doesnt want to arrange visits etc until he knows in May if he is accepted. I have told him I have no money, and my house when I'm gone will be going to my daughter, no-one else. He knows I was divorced 6 years ago. All these stories make me sick to my stomach. How can someone treat another person like this. I am praying this is not the case, but at least I am armed ready, and although my heart will be bruised, it will not be destroyed. Any thoughts?
Khalid
End it now ...
Tue, 2010/02/02 - 13:17End this NOW!
Age gap is 33 years. You are as old as his mother or even grandmother.
You can't have children.
Relationship is remote.
You have never met.
He never mentions an address!
Why would he love you out of many others out there, closer to home, and ones he could meet.
Military service could be played as a wildcard at any point.
Everything he writes could be just lies.
You have already taken this too far, and fell for him. Use your brains. Stop being under any illusions ....
Jenny (not verified)
Thanks Khalid, you just
Wed, 2010/02/03 - 13:00Thanks Khalid, you just confirmed what I was thinking anyway. Never felt really comfortable with this situation, but got carried along with it. I know what I have to do. I am just sorry for all the other women he's going to con, at least I still have my dignity and money and my heart in tact. Thanks again.
mina (not verified)
Egyptian men
Wed, 2010/01/20 - 09:17I am sure that not alle Egyptian men are the same,this happend not only in egypt,
everyone experience is diferent,i know a lot of people in hurghada many times i tray to explain to them that not all woman old or not come to egypt for one night stand,i live in holland and i can tell you here is a very free country,free of expresion and free to to what you pleas,why go to egypt loking for sex..is very crazy thought why? when in holland i can chose any men i want and have sex,i will tell you why,at is about principes,i did go to egypt because i was very interested about the history the coultur,THER IS WERE EVERYTHING START.even when i was a child i dream about one day going to egypt,but i newer expect to fall voor a egyptian men,they take advanteg of woman with goo intentions,i always had a feeling that this relation ship will newer work but i did want to tray aftter a wail i saw clearly that he was not honest and i make a test,one test that wil give me the answer i needed,i tell him that i had problems on work,that the money allmost finish and that will make thinks dificult for ours.aftter a wail he dicide to end the relation ship,and you know what he say?I WAS A GOOD WOMAN AND HE COULD NEWER USE ME TO GO TO HOLLAND.of corse at hurts but he show me what all this time i really knew.last time i go to hurghada again i wanted to meet him to tell him the true about the test.i tell him that all was a lai,that i did this to test him because i feel he was not honest.and you know what he say?NOTHING!! he keep looking at me an keep quiet.i am still going to egypt because even if he hurt me so much i could newer blame all egyptian men for this.i still love egypt.
MRS ABDELAZIZ (not verified)
Hallo again..;)
Sun, 2010/01/31 - 16:19Hallo Again..
I tell my story before, and i just read it..;( It makes me sad to read it. I still dont understand how i let this happen..
I still feel lucky. cuz i get out of this game..
I am still pregnant, and its a boy:)i call him small AHMED:) And he will be born in may:)
The big *** Haytham Abdelaziz. He leave egypt, and went to work in Abu Dhabi.
I dont hear from him,and i am sure its the best.. But his wife call me, and send sms. she want to know how is me and the baby:) SHE is so" kind" :)I told her last time she call, that i dont want her to call me again,cuz i want to forget all about her/my husband..I know i will never forget,cuz i have his baby inside of me.. But i dont want to know anything about him..I learn a lot.. And sometimes i still think about him..I am sure its because of the hormons;)That is what i tell myself;) ha ha ha..I will raise my son to be like me,and not a big *** like his father;)
I hope the best for all of you out there. my heart was broken,and i know how you feel..I am ready to listen to you,if you want to write. you can contact me...
MRS "Abdelaziz"
Anonymous (not verified)
HI
Mon, 2010/03/01 - 00:31HI HERE I AM SORRY FOR YOUR STORE THERE...AND NOT ALL EGYPTIONS ARE LIKE THAT...I DONT LIKE SOO ENYWAY..I THINK ALL MEN IN THIS WORLD IS LIKE THAT,,BUT I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT...I AM SURE YOU WILL BE A GOOD MOTHER AND A GOOD DAD TWO YOUR BABE...YOU ARE A LUCKY WOMAN TOO HAVE AN EGYPTION BABE THAY ARE SOOO CUTE...AND PLZZZ IF U HAVE MSN CAN U ADD ME ON SOOO I CAN TALK WITH U....COUZ I AM IN LOVE WITH AN EGYTPION MAN 2 AND I WANT 2 NOW MORE ABOUT EGYPTIONS ALL RIGTH THX YOU....I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST WITH YOUR BABE
Anonymous (not verified)
Hallo.. Yes i like to talk to
Fri, 2010/03/12 - 04:43Hallo..
Yes i like to talk to you.. you can have my E-mail kristiansen1976@hotmail.com..
Write me there
MRS ABDEL AZIZ
Anonymous (not verified)
i have a question
Tue, 2010/02/02 - 20:50i have fallen in love on line with a tunisian man i will visit him soon he knowss i am not wealthy but tells me this does not matter i choose to live in ireland when we marry but am concerned as i know he wishes to live here eagerly. should i trust my heart and believe he loves me or wake up maybe think he wants to come into my country
Anonymous (not verified)
Tunisian man
Sat, 2010/04/24 - 19:05I would advise leaving well alone. I would be suspicious of any man in this situation and wonder how many other foreign women he has met online and is telling the same things too. If you do want to give it a chance, proceed with extreme caution. Just because he doesn't ask for money (yet) does not mean he's not scamming you. He may have another woman or women that he receives money from.
However - to get a better idea consider some of the following:
How old is he? And how old are you? If you are a lot older than him, forget it.
Does he have a job? And if so what is it? If he works in the tourist industry, forget it.
One key difference between Tunisia and Egypt is that in Tunisia polygamy is no longer legal. And there is no such thing as urfi marriage. However, this does not prevent romance scammers from getting engaged to foreign women and scamming money out of them. Very often the foreign fiancee will have met the wife, believing her to be her fiance's sister.
As with Egypt, of course not all Tunisians are like this. However, your first priority has to be to protect yourself. If you do go, book into a hotel - do not get an apartment for your first visit. And keep your eyes and ears wide open.
Connie (not verified)
Tunisian Man
Fri, 2011/11/18 - 08:59I have been married to a Tunisian man for more than 10 years now. I met him while he was already in the US, we are the same age, and we have a happy life together. I have remained Christian and he is Muslim. We respect each others beliefs and culture. I do have to say however that I am horrified to hear about the stories he has told me, stories I have heard from other people. Many men are not only after money, so if you do not have any I doubt it will change things. This one sounds like he is after a Visa to get out of Tunisia. Many of these guys state that they love their country, do not want to leave, etc.... but that is part of a scam. You are not going to meet someone who is going to say, oh I really want a Visa to get out of here, will you marry me for one? So it's a type of reverse psychology.
Many guys also say that it does not matter where we live... blah blah blah because they can't get a Visa right away. Believe me, after the marriage they will start talking about how the life in Tunisia will not work out, there are no jobs, etc.
I wish you good luck but I want you to really think about what you are doing. There is a website created by another woman who has a successful marriage to a Tunisian, she created it to help women who are being scammed. There are pics posted of scammers...... tunisianloverats.com.
Good luck and God Bless!
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