A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Khalid
Updating us on progress
Tue, 2010/08/10 - 21:22You can post updates. It will be a learning experience for everyone, whether this relationship works out well, or not.
Isis (not verified)
To Martine - Egyptian men can be friends
Tue, 2010/08/10 - 22:43" truly believe the best relationships are build out of friendship, then this way only time can tell..."
Hi Martine!
As per your quote, it is possibe for Egyptian men to be friends. I was friends with my now Egyptian husband for 12 months before we married. I was able to get to know him, his family, his culture and Islam before I committed to a life long relationship with him. During this time he also was able to get to know me, an independent, working, western, Christian woman.We both have never looked back and we look forward to many happy years together. The difference between my husband and the men involved in tourism is that my husband is educated, respects all people including women and is a very hard worker. He doesn't look for the easy way out and is honest. Maybe after time you will get to know your friend this way. Maybe the rent scam was seized by him as a moment of opportunity but at least he did give you the money back. One thing to remember Martine, is that he will always be poor and he will always be wanting to better himself.
No one can tell you whether to continue with the relationship or not. You will see the answer clearly one day just as I did. After hearing all the terrible stories too, that moment came when I realised that I could fully trust my husband and that he had never done anything untoward or dishomest to me, or anyone else for that matter. I hope that moment comes for you too.
All the best.
Khalid
It is possibe for Egyptian
Tue, 2010/08/10 - 22:51Yes, it is possible, but only in regular Egyptian cities and villages, under normal circumstances, such as study, or work.
Such a friendship and acquaintance cannot be with the men who work in tourist areas. These are not representative of the Egyptian population at large, and should be kept at a distance.
Do not establish any romantic relationship with anyone in tourist areas.
Anonymous (not verified)
Does he really beeing honest?
Mon, 2010/08/16 - 15:49hi,I live in Europe; met this egyptian guy through web page. I dont really look anything serious logging into these kind of pages! it happened to get along with him, we had a good chat as a friend.. stayed disconnected. He added me to his list, i thanked him via message he wrote me back..we started chatting again. He wanted us to stay connected as last time we lost it so i said well i will try..we have found lots in common, felt really good abt each other..we have had our phone numbers, was texting romantically but not at very first stages..he was telling me that he misses me all the time but as i was working, didnt have time to get online to chat.. i have been curious abt his true feelings so never been so open to him. he; after 3 months told me that he loves me all of a sudden to my text..i have been delaying my visit to egypt (as this is the only way for us to meet for real)cos iam not in need of men but in romance truth and someone i can trust and what i have is not to be sure!
he was not working and still not , he was in tourism 1 or 2 years before, he ended it as he he told me the reason was ;he doesnt like tourism sector anymore and need a job where he stay clean! he is abt to move to another country for work he has been offered before that we are planning meeting up.I do like him a lot!
any ideas???? please i am so confused!!!
Anonymous (not verified)
Dear, It's typical, he says
Mon, 2010/08/16 - 22:04Dear,
It's typical, he says he loves you and as soon as you guys get marry and he takes some form of legal documents in your country he will leave you. It has happened like million times so far. The mistake would be having a relationship with that kind of men, believe me even Egyptian girls would not talk to those guys because they know they are losers.
If he's a doctor or an engineer I would have recommended to come here, to Egypt, and meet that guy. BUT I recommend against that, please tell him to stop texting you and don't believe what he says because it's a broken record.
Anonymous (not verified)
just wanted to add something !
Tue, 2010/08/17 - 17:45Thaks for your comment; i think i will go and visit him if he acts well like introduce me to his family, doesnt make me spend a lot, spends most his time with me??? if also keeps in touch when iam back even if we didn't have much psychically!! as i am in same religion as him so we dont have many differences also he has known many other European girls who likes him but we have found each other i suppose( thats what i want to believe)..
any comments on this pls..thank you
fatima
Khalid
Don't go ...
Tue, 2010/08/17 - 18:02Don't waste your time and money going after an imaginary relationship over the internet.
The fact that he worked in tourism makes him an expert in deceiving women from Europe.
If he was an educated Egyptian (university degree, good reputation, normal family), with a respectable profession (doctor, engineer, ...etc.), then perhaps it is something you can consider further ...
Otherwise, stay away from him and save your money and sanity ...
Use your brains, not your heart and some SMS messages ...
Anonymous (not verified)
Fatima, I agree with
Tue, 2010/08/17 - 18:25Fatima,
I agree with Mr.Khalid. Don't waste your time, money and life. Egyptians WILL NOT marry European girls unless they are really crazy about them, OR they will marry them to get a citizenship of that country. But I would like to add more to what Mr.Khalid said, even if he has good education this doesn't make him perfect. You have to look at this financial situation here in Egypt, this is a key issue. Fatima, we have seen many cases like this here. As I have said before even Egyptian girl wouldn't marry such a guy, those guys are looking for a way out of Egypt.
One more thing, you will not understand Egyptians unless you live with them. Our culture has been effected by many factors, being invaded and ruled by many since the ancient Egyptians changed us alot. Again, I'm not saying that we are bad people. Actually, we are very good people :) but imagine that an Egyptian girl goes to America and marry a loser??? what life would she be driving? What if she get married to a doctor? or any other good guy?
God bless you dear Fatima and good luck
Michael
Anonymous (not verified)
Guys I just want tell you
Tue, 2010/08/17 - 06:11Guys
I just want tell you something, one of my friends, an Egyptian Engineer, is married to an American woman 4 years ago. He's a very good guy and she is too, together they are driving a very nice life. So she did marry an educated man, not just some Egyptian guy who would leave her after he gets the green card.
My point is that if you are in love with some Egy guy, look at his life in Egypt first then decide what is the next move. It's really difficult on us, Egyptians, to marry European and American girls. We have a very different culture, and you have to understand this if you really in love with an Egyptian guy.
All what I can say, that we are not bad people. If you really understand our culture, you will be happy with your Egyptian hasband if you were wise before going into your relationship with him.
Good luck to you all :)
Michael
Anonymous (not verified)
Very interesting...
Sat, 2010/08/21 - 18:57Just wanted to say thanks for this page, it has made for some very interesting reading. I like many others on here met an Egyptian man a few months ago during a diving holiday in a red sea resort. Although we met on my first day (he worked at the dive centre) we didn't speak properly until my second to last day. He didn't hassle me, or lay on the "you are so beautiful habibti..." like some of the other guys I met, nor did we have a last night 'fling'. He is 22 and I am 26. We stayed in touch through texts & msn and I went back to see him a month ago and we spent a 10 days together. I wouldn't say we were on best behaviour and had a couple of minor tiffs (over watching football), but we did spend a lot of time talking and getting to know each other (although I am aware it takes a lot longer than 10 days to do this thoroughly). I am now back in the UK and hoping to visit him again in a few months time (I am at uni for the next 2 years so my holiday time is structured). He is saving to be able to come over here next year (visa permitting). I just wanted to post on here incase someone else is in a similar position to me and hopefully I will be able to advise on my progress, which again may be of help to someone. I have just begun to learn arabic (although his english is very good), I have not met any of his family, and yes we did sleep together - 6 days into my 10 day trip. I am trying to remain level headed and aware of the potential pitfalls such a relationship may encounter, which is why this website has made for informative and interesting reading. I hope you don't mind me writing on here, but it is the only way I can see to speak to others who can advise on such a situation! Thank you
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