A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Isis (not verified)
To "Very Interesting"
Sun, 2010/08/22 - 23:26In response, all I can add to help you with your current situation is that Khalid, the author of this site often gives advice for Western Women not to persue relationships with Egyptian men in the resort tourist areas. Dive instructors are the worst for the type of behaviour that includes scamming, lying and dishonesty. They scam women tourists by leading them on and then pouncing when vulnerable women are in the mode of "my Egyptian man is not like the others". You will be only one of many foreign "wives" that this Egyptian man has "enjoyed".
My advice is to cut all communication with this man and don't waste your money. He will also never be granted a visa to visit you as he will have no assets and be deemed as person who may overstay his visa if granted one. You have much more research to do on this subject and you really need to become grounded and make an informed decision on any relationship that you think that you have with this man.
The pitfalls are very deep so please read Khalid's advice carefully.
Khalid
Write back when it is over ...
Sun, 2010/08/22 - 23:31I was going to be somewhat sarcastic and say something like: please write back when it is over, telling us how awful it ended up being, how hurt you are, and how much you lost to the scam ...
But Isis above said all I wanted to say: run now, or be in for a world of hurt later.
You can run after an illusion, or save yourself a lot of trouble now ... your choice.
You have been warned.
Anonymous (not verified)
I'm against this
Mon, 2010/08/23 - 07:11Hi,
I'm a 28 years old 100% Egyptian and I'm always against this kind of behavior. It's a bad reputation for my country, the problem is that foreign women don't meet classy Egyptians. They always end up meeting the worst kind of men in Egypt, then when things go bad they say "all you Egypians are bad people". I have seen that for many times, and my answer was always the same "You did have a relationship with a deceptive man not an educated classy one".
You have to understand that because of the culture differences, it's very difficult for an Egyptian man to marry an European girl. If that happened you have to look at the reasons, either they are really crazy about each other and deeply in love, or he wants to get out and he will deceive you all the way. Those people are very clever by the way.
I take myself and my friends as examples. We work in IT, Egnineering and medical fields. None of us think or will marry a foreign girl, not that there is somehing wrong with that but as I have said it's the culture differences that make this near impossible. For example, a good Egyptian man will never marry a girl who had sex before (cultural differences).
Another example, his family will not accept a foreign girl easily. Unless it's benefial to that man so they let him marry that euro girl to go and live in Europe.
Those men usually end up with a divorce after getting the citizenship, and coming back to marry an Egy girl.
But when it happends he must be in love with her so much, that he took the decision to overcome all cultural diffrences and make this work.
Mr.Kahild I hope you have the time to write a detailed documet about the mind-set of those people and compare them to the behavior of high-class educated Egyptian men.
god bless you all
Michael
Anonymous (not verified)
we would like to hear more!!!
Mon, 2010/08/23 - 18:16hi Michael;
I have been searching about Egyptian people not only men but always end up about worst stories you can think of! if "Marrying an Egyptian" title involves only the European girls/ men to trapped in bed ending who will have no hope trusting a certain person from that Culture?whom they are dreaming of marrying etc..
I believe that "Good brings good" if you know what i mean. I would like to ask; what should we consider by 'good Egyptian Men' what if any fall in love with an other Muslim girl but from a different Country (Europe or not)? I also like to know if they have educated but the job issues in Egypt put them as job seekers; as i know men with a good characteristic, would wait for the opportunity they are willing to go for rather than working in a place where they wont be happy!am i right? i know a friend here in Europe; he was off work for two years then got what he was waiting for as he didn't want to waste most of his time working that he wont have any time to look for better one!
My point is that of course good men in love with a girl from Europe might want to see how is life in Europe! but if he is real he would keep the faith and enjoy the life with his loved one where ever ,whatever , however!!
I would like to hear more about good Egyptian men (specially in Cairo or non so Touristic places) and their intentions, characteristics and expectations from life or etc...
I am in Great respect with any stories and answers but good ones highly appreciated:)
Thank You All
Isis (not verified)
To "We would like to hear more"
Wed, 2010/08/25 - 20:57Unless you are living in the Egyptian culture or experiencing the Egyptian way of life for an extended period of time in a professional status, you will find it very hard to meet professional Egyptian men out of the tourist areas. The Egyptian family comes first and foremost and the wishes of their families are obeyed and usually this does not include marrying a European woman. My advice is not to go looking for an Egyptian man because you will attract the wrong type of man as they will be on the look out for you and your money. If fate deals the card that you were meant to be with an Egyptian man then it will happen for all the right reasons.
Isis (not verified)
Response to Michael
Wed, 2010/08/25 - 20:47"I'm a 28 years old 100% Egyptian and I'm always against this kind of behavior. It's a bad reputation for my country, the problem is that foreign women don't meet classy Egyptians. They always end up meeting the worst kind of men in Egypt, then when things go bad they say "all you Egypians are bad people". I have seen that for many times, and my answer was always the same "You did have a relationship with a deceptive man not an educated classy one"."
You are right in what you say Michael, but this blog is about the foreign women who get trapped and scammed by the less than honest men in the tourist areas. No one, who truly knows the people of Egypt and understands the culture will say that ALL Egyptian men are bad. There is good and bad in all societies all over the world. I am married to an Egytpian man and I met him through business associates. He is also appalled at the behaviour of the men in the tourist areas and their lack of conscience when they scam the vulnerable and naive women tourists for anything that they can get out of them.He cannot believe that some Egyptian men are capable of such callous and selfish acts.
Women tourists that come to Egypt need to be aware that these men in the tourist areas can and will hunt them down if given the opportunity but sadly even when warned, as you can read of the recent posts above, they do not heed warnings. I do not think that Mr Khalid can do any more than he is doing.
Anonymous (not verified)
Well said Michael
Wed, 2010/09/01 - 21:47Well said Michael,
I work in a multinational company (Oil field) and all my friends work in very prestigious companies , so we are - you can say - financially very stable (Thank God million times).
I don't think anyone would replace an Egyptian girl for any other, except few who like redheads or blonds, but if we all came to the fact of the foreign girl culture of sex and shit, then I think ALL OF US WOULD RAN AWAY FROM THEM.
Isis (not verified)
To Oil Field Anonymous
Fri, 2010/09/03 - 08:47"... foreign girl culture of sex and shit"
This statement is made in ignorance of western culture and only what you have perceived from western TV and movies on cable which you watch because you obviously enjoy them. You would be qualified to comment on western culture when you have actually spent time in the west and not been brain washed by fictional and at times, sensational media.
Anonymous (not verified)
I know this sounds really,
Thu, 2010/09/02 - 10:12I know this sounds really, really stupid, but if an Egyptian man asks you for money does that actually have to mean he is just using you? What if it all feels right and he just thinks that you can help him? What if he asked for money, but still fell in love with you? If you went to see him and had an amazing, amazing time and it felt really loving, are they really that mercenary that they can switch on that much charm convincingly? Do I have doubts about my Egyptian boyfriend? Yes. Do I feel love from him? Yes. When I went to Egypt I thought that I would know if he was genuine, I thought maybe it would go wrong in reality, but it was better than I could have ever expected. He made me feel like a Queen. His love felt real, he constantly gave me loving attenion. God, he even cried when we argued, surely that is real emotion. I am old enough to know better and intelligent enough to know better, but I can't convince myself that this guy is a complete scammer. Do I love him? Yes. Should I run a mile if he asks me for money? As I write this I know the stupidity of my question, but my problem is that I cannot convince myself that my experience with my Egyptian boyfriend is a scam. How can I when everything about my visit to see him was perfect.(Actually, not everyting, the practical stuff wasn't great, but believe me that didin't matter, the emotional side of life was absolutely perfect.) It all felt right, it all felt real, it actually blew my mind. Can he fake that? I clearly have a bad case of love and am probably the most pathetic woman alive, but am interested in your comments.
Isis (not verified)
Honest Egyptian men will not ask women for money
Fri, 2010/09/03 - 08:56Honest Egyptian men will not ask women for money. It is not how they are raised. They are taught from a young age that they are the protectors of their women and the providers for their women. He would ask you for money because he would see it as an easier way for a better life for him and his family. If you met him in a tourist area, if he is a waiter, a dive instructor, works on a cruise ship or a bazaar he is after what he can get from you. There are good men in Egypt but you will not find them in these jobs or these areas.
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