A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
zampokh (not verified)
Sorry for any inconveniences
Sat, 2011/07/09 - 07:27Dear khalied, this I what got from here comments and if you went through her past comments carefully you will easily pick this. Sorry for any inconveniences
zampokh (not verified)
association for egyptian boys
Thu, 2011/07/07 - 03:06i think also it would be fair if we made another association for egyptian boys used as sex toys by western women.
Misha (not verified)
Good judgement - great in retrospect
Sun, 2011/07/10 - 17:59I have been reading the posts with interest, having just broken up with my Egyptian "boyfriend". It has made quite difficult reading . . as I am 19 years older than him . . we did not realise the gap initially - he looks older than he is and also told me in the beginning he was a few years older in order for me to talk with him. I am not naive, nor desperate . . I am a fitness instructor and I don't look near my age - I get young guys asking me out at home too . . I am definately not a slut, I don't consider myself promiscuous at all and I have to be in a committed relationship with someone to be physical. Yes we met in a tourist location - Sharm - we have talked for hours nearly every day for over eight months and I came back to Sharm twice to meet with him - the first time to hang out and get to know each other better - the second the infamous Orfi -a fake, fake one because apparently the administration who managed the real orfi's were in chaos after the 'revolution' . . I have met his mother, father, one of his brothers, sister, sister-inlaws, nieces and nephews and assorted cousins on Skype, exchanged emails with his sister . . always trying to take it really slowly . . He said it was important that his family got used to me gradually - that they got used to him speaking to me and hearing my name mentioned. He had a flat built last year on his father's land, and his father has been continuing to finish the interior of the flat as he has not been working since he returned home the day the revolution started, he also has his own car. So on one hand, they do not appear to be a family short of resource . . however, I have helped financially with a couple of small emergencies and paid for an operation in May (£3K) intricate ear surgery . . I would be stunned if the operation was not true as there were blood stained dressings and he sounded and looked genuinely in pain all the time - if it were fake, then he deserves the money for acting talent alone. His sister emailed me to let me know when he was coming out of the hospital in Cairo and would be arriving home. In the past few weeks, things have intensified as we have been trying to negotiate a Visa to the UK for him . . and I had been talking with an agency about different Visa options for him. However, we had a conversation about 2 weeks ago, in which he told me about a cousin who had married a UK girl and to fast-track a Visa to get him to the UK, they had elected to choose a Visitor Visa with a view to getting married in the UK and then progressing a married persons Visa; she had gathered together money and transferred it to an Egyptian bank account in her husband to be's name, so that he would appear solvent when the authorities checked his financial status. Apparently this cousin's Visa was applied for and accepted in 2-3 days (which is as fast as it can be according to the turnaround times at the Cairo Embassy). The girl/woman then came to Cairo and they transferred the money into an HSBC bank account in his name which apparently meant that the money could be then withdrawn from anywhere in the world, more specifically the UK . . I am listening to this story thinking how risky was that . . ?!? and then wondering what it is I am being 'warmed up for' . . ?? transferring smallish amounts of money on case by case basis is one kind of risk . . however this is a different league altogether . . We have had some very challenging conversations in the past couple of weeks and of course he is deeply offended that I should think that he might be 'scamming' me . . although he is very aware of what goes on, and acknowledges that freely . . I got to the place where I didn't know what to trust any more . . He is very plausible and his family seem like very respectable, devout muslims. I have been learning Arabic and we talked a lot about Islam and the Qu'ran (that was how our relationship/friendship began - we met in a shop and spent hours talking about the Surahs that had been transcripted onto papyrus and their meaning) . . two very different things going on here . . and to say it has been confusing is an understatement. We are not in communication at the moment, as he is very angry with me for my accusations and also I am supposed to have been in Egypt with him this past week, when ostensibly we would be 'engaged' and have a small party . . in Sharm however, and not with his family . .
At the moment I feel incredibly sad without him, as we have been a huge part of each other's day for the past 8-9 months . . but of course there is no point in continuing with something that is not the real deal . . your thoughts and inputs are very welcome and may make or break what happens next . .
Please don't tell me I am a stupid, sad, sexual predator . . it has shocked me to read some of the comments on this and other websites about sad, ugly, old women with fat asses chasing after men young enough to be their sons . . I amn't actually any of those things, but reading those comments also had a big influence on my ending our relationship.
There is good and bad the world over . . and good and bad within each of us . . we are none of us saints, just human beings making the best of our situations with what we know and the resources we have at our disposal . . . I don't want to get into a big judgement thing . . I have some Egyptian friends and acquaintances where I live , , and I have nothing but respect for Islam as a religion . .
Thank you for constructive, helpful comments back . . x
Khalid
Let this be a lesson ...
Sun, 2011/07/10 - 18:41Let this be a lesson to you and to others who will read it.
This sounds like a classic scam. The fact that he asked for money on more than one occasion is a big warning sign. Asking for money for bank for the visa is the ultimate act.
Talking about Islam may be genuine or maybe part of the whole show. Who knows.
I wonder if all those "family" were staged, with friends acting as family to make you feel comfortable.
Final advice, to all female tourists: never get involved with anyone from the tourist industry, or on tourist cities. PERIOD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Isis (not verified)
To Misha
Thu, 2011/07/14 - 20:27As Khalid has advised this has all the signs of a classic scam. The first red flag was that you met this man in Sharm which is notorious for this type behavior. Also, he will not find it that easy to get a visa anywhere unless he is employed, has assets and money in the bank which would of course, be yours. The "I need money for an operation" is a common request, part of the scam and yes, these men can be good actors with all the props including "family"!
For him to suggest marriage and not just an Orfi is very concerning. He wants out of Egypt at your expense. You are wise to leave him where he is - in Egypt and in your past. Count your losses, move on and learn from the experience.
All the best.
Misha (not verified)
Wise in hindsight
Mon, 2011/07/11 - 05:34There is such a lot of judgement and criticism levelled at those who are scammed, it is no wonder that people feel ashamed and don't talk about it or perhaps not even tell anyone what has happened . . and that actually propogates the problem because people then don't share their experiences and allow others to learn from them. Of course, this is a lesson for me(?), I feel that more acutely than anyone telling me that it is . . the point is that it might also provide a key bit of information that allows another woman (or man) to make the call before they lose too much, not just money, but time and energy . . .
I appreciate what you have achieved with your website Khalid . . please don't get battle weary with it . . it's been on the go for a number of years now, but some of us are only fresh from the field with our experiences . .
Khalid
Falling for the scam
Mon, 2011/07/11 - 11:04The part that amazes me is that most of the women who fall for this are smart and perhaps educated, and they would never fall for such a scam back home, not matter how many men would try.
But once they are out of their culture, they lower their guard and are victims to this.
One can speculate about why: they are out of their zone of familiarity, everything is "exotic", they are blindsided to cultural aspects of behavior, social stratification, and the like. A few are willing to be taken for a ride, but not all.
This is not a uniquely Egyptian phenomenon, but common in Turkey and Tunisia, as well as Italy, Spain and the Caribbean.
Mango (not verified)
Khalid: I must say I feel a
Tue, 2011/07/19 - 21:27Khalid:
I must say I feel a little provoked by your post and do feel need to comment.
Sometimes these smart and educated women do fall in love. Yes, it happens. And sometimes, love can make even the smartest woman (and man) blind. That is nothing to be amazed about. And I can inform you that some of us also has fallen in love with the wrong man in our own countries, were we not are cultured blinded. I wish you could stop blaming the women so much. It is the con men that are bad! It is these men that should amaze you the most. Maybe the tourist women should be vailed too?
I have posted here before and I think that this site is important. I am still friend with "my scammer". I have learned so much about my self, about egyptian culture and many other issues of life this last year. Not because of the scam, but because of the great love I felt for this man. So yes, I was a "victim", and yes, I have felt very sad because of it. And because of a lot of the comments in this site, I have also felt very stupid. However, today I do not feel like a victim. I feel blessed for experiencing this wonderful love that the two of us shared and I refuse to feel like a "stupid victim". Thank God that most of us marry from love and not family! I am sorry to say that my friend, after telling his family about me, had to marry an egyptian woman. He has been in and out of hospital the last 6 months with a "bad mind". He is currently like a zombie. I hope all the best for him and truly hope that he will find his way in life.
Thanks.
Isis (not verified)
Khalid is right
Tue, 2011/07/19 - 22:12I appreciate your comments Mango but I see Khalid's post quite differently. Khalid is only issuing a a warning and explaining why he is doing this. If you feel provoked by Khalid's post then it must have hit a raw nerve with you. I can also see that you have not yet moved on in your life and left your "scammer" behind. That you felt a "great love" for this man and that you still feel and care for him clearly illustrates this.
That you are "sorry to say" that your "scammer" was made to marry an Egyptian woman after he told his family about you, also indicates that you have not learned as much about Egyptian culture as you think you have. Conservative Egyptian families, especially in rural areas around Luxor will nearly always make sure that their sons marry Egyptian women. They do not want shame brought on their families by not following tradition especially in close knit villages.
Sorry if my post sounds harsh but it is best to move on, forget and make your own life.
All the best.
Mango (not verified)
Khalid is so right! My point
Wed, 2011/07/20 - 11:54Khalid is so right!
My point was that the judging, the generalization of "us women victims" and the fact that he is so amazed by the women behavior. What I mean is I don't think losing our common sense is a very abnormal human behavior when we fall head over heal in love. Sure we are to be blamed for many things in these matters, but not the scam itself. That’s on these men’s hands. You can make us feel stupid because we were scammed, but I will not be ashamed by my mistake because I know that I was so very blinded by the love I felt. I just feel that there is an invisible line of judging in some of the comments in this site. Maybe that too is a cultural thing, I don’t know.
Your comment was not as harsh as it was personal. I do not consider myself an expert on any kind, neither on Egyptian culture or human behavior. You felt the need to give an analysis of "my Egyptian experience". I put myself out here. My point is that I do feel very enlightened by what happened to me. I'm not ashamed to say that I have learned from it, both on the personal level and from the cultural side. And I am not ashamed to say that I have struggled to understand and to put this behind me. I took this matter that happened to me very personal. But I can inform you that I have walked a long way and that I know that I will reach the end of it very soon.
I am glad to inform you that I know about the marriage situation in his village area. I am sorry on his behalf because he still struggle to adjust to his situation. But I sure that in time he will.
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