A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Isis (not verified)
More Advice
Wed, 2012/07/18 - 20:51Just see how he is after two weeks. If he has married he will be locked in his matrimonial flat/villa for two weeks and is not supposed to contact or speak to anyone except family. During this time the married couple is expected to get to know each other and produce a child and the family bring them food and checks on them daily. This is painting the worst scenario possible for you and I apologise for that as you have given the picture of him being genuine with you. The other scenario as Almohamady posted, which is also possible is depression which is quite rife in Egypt at the moment - the feeling of hopelessness because of the lack of job prospects and a not too prosperous future. The pressure on young men in Egypt is enormous as they really are tied to their families for life and must support and obey them in every way they possibly can.
Is he the eldest son? If so, the pressure is doubled because he then becomes responsible for the financial, moral and religious structure of his entire family. My husband is an eldest son and I see it first hand as he has parents and siblings which we support as well as keeping our business going and making enough for ourselves.
I hope that this helps. All the best.
Anonymous (not verified)
Thanks for more advice
Thu, 2012/07/19 - 06:12Isis I would like to thank you for the information you have supplied me with, it has been really helpful and informative. It is also making me feel that I should not give up hope that everything will be ok.
From the information you have provided I do not think that he has married as he was only home for about 10 days and that included his travel time, and in that time he did speak to me most days online even though it was strained and limited.
However maybe this is what the family are suggesting and he is feeling under pressure.
I do think he is depressed, and know he worries about the future re work and life. He is always telling me it is hard life there and that I have a good life, with my work, friends and family in UK and that he does not want me to live hard. He did say he was feeling that his dreams were disappearing.
Also, last night he came online and said Hello to me first, which he has not done for well over a week, but conversation is still so hard when all you get as a response is ok, yes, no or nice. But this is start, so I am hoping soon he will want to talk, but will let him do it in his own time.
Here's hoping all will be ok for us in the future and thanks again everyone.
Anonymous (not verified)
Am I being impatient
Tue, 2012/07/24 - 10:32Am I being impatient
I know it has been less than a week since I posted my query on here about my boyfriend's mood, I thought I could handle it, but at the moment I am feeling so lost and lonely.
He has been on talking a little but still so hard and if you mention anything about emotions, feelings or future togther he either goes silent or changes the topic.
The strange thing was that the other night he went on skype to show me the flat he has just moved into (this was his idea), he has never done that before and has moved a few times since we have been together. He seemed to want my approval and when I told him it was nice he was like thats good. I thought he was just going to show me the flat but he did stay on for me to see him. But yet again he did not say much amd just seemed to look to me.
But yesterday and today he has gone silent, no reply to my phone call or sms messages, plus he has not been online, which is odd for him as he used to always be on.
So one moment I feel he is pushing me away and the next that he wants to share his life.
Is it normal for someone to stay in this kind of mood for so long as previously he had only been like it for a few days.
I cant stop thinking and wondering what is going on and if he does still want me or not.
Hannan (not verified)
I really hate to say this,
Wed, 2012/07/25 - 09:17I really hate to say this, but I think he may have a new girlfriend, he is keeping in touch with you just in case the new one doesn't work out,try not getting in touch at all, and don't go online, see what he does.
Anonymous (not verified)
You could be right
Thu, 2012/07/26 - 08:54Thanks Hanan for your feedback. You could be right in your thinking and I suppose I will find out in time, hopefully sooner than later.
But really hoping this is not the case.
However I would have thought if it was because of a new girlfriend that he would have started this strange mood when he was still in the resort, not a few days after he went home to visit his family. But that could just be a coincidence I suppose.
It is only a few weeks until I go to visit him and maybe then everything will come out into the open.
Trying to keep positive but at times it is hard.
Thanks
Anon'ymously' (not verified)
Did you see him on skype at home?
Thu, 2012/07/26 - 14:04You sometimes use camera on skype? Did you video chat while he was at home? If not, then you cannot say for sure that he was actually at home. He might have been taking time out for someone else. I'm not saying it's likely, just a possibility.
Karimah (not verified)
EXPOSE LIARS CHEATS AND BASTARDS
Sun, 2012/08/26 - 05:14Does anyone knows what happened to the site LCB Expose Liars Cheats and Bastards? It was giving a good service to women involved with men from Egypt (and other countries). I can not find it anywhere on the web anymore.
Thanks in advance.
Anonymous (not verified)
I thought I would update you
Thu, 2012/09/27 - 11:38I thought I would update you all on my situation with my boyfriend and his mood.
Before I was due to visit him his mood really improved and it felt like we were back to normal. When I got there and during my stay everything was really nice and it actually felt better and more positive. We talked about things and that we wanted a future together and that we would get married etc.
Everything was looking really positive, we just have to sort how I was going to do the move which we agreed we would do next visit.
The first few weeks I was back it all seemed really nice and we were just talking everyday like we always had. Then all of a sudden his bad mood struck again. Looking at the timing it is always around 3 to 4 weeks after I leave.
He is talking the same as before that he loves me and wants me and so on and that he knows I want the same, but can't see how or that I am doing anything to make this work. He sounds so negative at times. Then he goes on to say he is not feeling good and can't talk much which of course winds me up and then I keep on at him, which just makes him angry. Did speak to my friend about this and she did say I was like a dog with a bone and kept on at him instead of giving him space.
So at the moment we are still talking but it really is only if he is online and its hard conversation, as he does not say much and I am being careful what I say also as not to make him feel stressed or more bad. He is still the one who starts these conversations, however he is rarely leaving me messages or sending me a sms like he used to (when I asked why he said sorry he did not think, as was feeling bad). I really want to talk to him on the phone or Skype but when he gets like this he does not like to speak.
Just after my return from being with him, he had been on facebook chatting to my best friend as she is travelling to Egypt the same time as me on my next visit as they will meet. He was really happy and joking with her and even spoke about me and what I meant to him. Which felt nice as he is usually such a private person.
My friends all say that he is missing me because he has said to me how happy he is when we are together and when I leave he starts to think about things in his life, his dreams and how hard things are.
Really can't get my head around what is going on, I am feeling like I am on a rollercoaster and dont know how to stop.
I just want things to be normal.
Karimah (not verified)
LCB EXPOSE LIARS CHEATS AND BASTARDS
Sun, 2012/08/26 - 05:28Does anyone knows what happened to the site LCB Expose Liars Cheats and Bastards? I can not find anymore on the web. I think it was giving a good service and was very helpful to open eyes to women involved with certain kind of men in Egypt (and other countries)
Thanks in advance.
lynn (not verified)
Attia is back in egypt now,
Wed, 2012/09/12 - 17:06Attia is back in egypt now, he was only back in England with my mum for 4 month ,he tells her he is going to Egypt to clear his mind and she believes this rubbish ,he only got back in England in march after being in egypt for 6 month,my mum phoned me the other day saying she had not heard of him for nearly two weeks.When he finally contacted her he said he had not been in touch because it was ede??? I think he is either married or planning to get married,is there any way my mum can find out if he is married too another woman?He Divorced my mum last time he was in egypt,he told her he did this so he can claim benefits in England,he divorced her as soon as he got his passport he is waiting for my mum to get inheritance money and when he gets his hands on that he will disappear,my mum is so silly, she will give her money to him and he knows this,she has already given him all her money so he can build a house for his family in Egypt,she has not even viewed this house so it might not even exsist,he is in zagazig in cairo ,is there anybody outhere who can enquire about him for me please?
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