A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Anonymous (not verified)
MY MOTHER WENT TO EGYPT A FEW
Thu, 2009/09/24 - 13:27MY MOTHER WENT TO EGYPT A FEW MONTHS AGO AND MARRIED A SAUDI MAN ... SHE IS NOW BACK IN THE US BUT THEY WOULD NOT LET HIM COME TO THE US WHAT CAN SHE DO TO GET HIM OVER HERE IF ANYTHING?????????
Anonymous (not verified)
If your mother's Saudi
Sat, 2009/09/26 - 09:06If your mother's Saudi husband has a good career, such as a doctor or dentist, he should be able to get a work permit, he can find situations for work on the internet. If he doesn't have a good job I think she should forget about him going to US. From Jan.
Simon Wallace (not verified)
Hi, My mother recently
Sat, 2009/10/03 - 15:51Hi, My mother recently visited Egypt and it seems that the same thing is happening to her as all of the cases above. Being swept off her feet etc etc. His name is Ashraf Ahmed and he is a porter at a hotel. Apparently he was to come to Australia to Visit my mother but his Visa has rejected on the account of him telling the Visa people that he is in Love with an Australian woman. He lives with his family and is very poor. So to me this is ringing alarm bells. My mum has booked flights to go over and visit him. If all goes well they are going to enter into a marriage Visa for him to come to Australia. It is very hard to get good info from her because she is so caught up in it all. Any advice on how to get through to her or does anyone know of this man, I have a photo.
Simon
Khalid
Sad story here ...
Sat, 2009/10/03 - 16:40Like the other sad stories, this is one that will be hard.
You probably cannot "get through" to her, because she is blinded by what she thinks is "love".
At best, she is marrying someone much younger than her and from a different culture, and from a level of Egyptian society that is not the best.
At worst, she is being scammed by a con artist who has done it before and will keep ask for money, or wants a visa to Australia.
Unless this is the exception that proves the rule, she is in for a lot of unpleasant surprises.
Ask her to read this article and all the comments from it. It is the best you can do. I think she may say "but my Ashraf is different". There is not much you can do if that is what she replies with.
Simon Wallace (not verified)
Thank you for your reply.
Sat, 2009/10/03 - 17:11Thank you for your reply. From your experience is there a real danger from her visiting? eg. do you know of women who have visited and been forced to stay and become muslim etc.
Khalid
That was funny, and also sad ...
Sat, 2009/10/03 - 17:24Well, that was funny. Made me chuckle. But it is also sad, because it reflects typical negative stereotypes about Muslim and Arab societies. This is all to be blamed on the media and how they portray only the negatives when it comes to these societies. Almost dehumanizing.
No, she is not in danger of forced conversion. In Islam forced changes of faith are invalid and must be totally voluntary. In Egypt, there is a Christian minority who have stayed on their faith from pre-Islamic times down through 14 centuries of history.
Under Islamic law a Muslim man can marry a Christian wife, and she can remain as a Christian if she wishes too.
She is not in physical danger either.
If it makes you feel better, she should register with the Australian consulate after her arrival, just in case she needs help from them.
What she is likely to face is emotional danger. She will probably be hurt when the initial novelty wears off, and she discovers that she did not make the best choice for a husband, or realize that the cultural differences are too great, or worse, if she gets conned out of her money.
As I said, it is unlikely that you will be able to change her mind. Just pass the information to her, and perhaps to a trusted friend of hers as well that can read it with a clear mind, and then talk to her.
Hope that helps.
Ronnie (not verified)
Getting a marriage cert in
Sat, 2009/10/03 - 19:50Getting a marriage cert in Embassy is not going to insure he gets a visa, where in Egypt did she go? and which hotel does he work at?
how old is he and how old is your mother? I would want to know everything about this man if it was my mother. At least tell her not to give him money, she can say she is not rich and cannot afford to give him any money, also he must pay for his own trip to Cairo and his own visa, I think that might stop him in his tracks, best of luck Ronnie, UK.
Simon Wallace (not verified)
Hi, he works at Grand
Sun, 2009/10/04 - 04:02Hi, he works at Grand Pyramids Hotel. To be honest I just spoke to my mum and have had her read this website. She has almost convinced me. I want to believe that it is all true as well. She is 51 and he is 36. She has very little money and I know that he also knows this. The story is very convincing and it is hard not to believe it.
He apparently paid for his own Visa and pre booked flights but the Visa was turned down.
His father died when he was young and he has been supporting his family, his mother has given her blessing to the relationship and has even spoken to my mother. His mother thinks that it is now time for him to start his life. He seems very genuine and I dont think it is money he is after.
It is sad that I even have to ask and check if this is real. It is sad for the people in Egypt that a few bad people give a bad name to the rest. He wants to talk to myself and my brother and sister on Skype, he has only just purchased the webcam etc. I just spoke to him very briefly. Would he go as far as talking to me if this was not real? He and my mum have got very close. How deep do these things run?
Khalid
Perhaps genuine, but be careful
Sun, 2009/10/04 - 10:37He is perhaps genuine, having gone through the trouble of talking to you and your siblings.
But the rest of the stuff can be faked: there is no way to know for sure that the woman who pretended to be his mother is really his mother. There is no way to know he is 36 and not 26. There is no way to know that his father died and that he supported his family. So take all info that you cannot verify with a grain of salt.
In Egypt when someone approaches a family for marriage, they do sort of background check on the person and his family, his work. They use connections (friends of friends) to get this information and verify everything he says and make sure he is what he says and that he is a decent person. They also check for red flags. Being from Australia, you can't do that.
If your mother has no money, then perhaps it is the visa he is after. Egypt's economy is in shambles and has been like that for decades. So many men yearn to leave the country and go to Western countries for better opportunities.
I hope for the sake of your mother we are all wrong. Hope it works out fo the best. Post back a couple of years from now either way it turns out.
Ronnie (not verified)
Dear Simon, Khaled is right,
Sun, 2009/10/04 - 19:10Dear Simon, Khaled is right, this man could be saying he is 10 years older than he really is, she could ask to see his ID but she would need to be able to read arabic numbers, I have stayed at the Grand Pyramid Hotel in Giza, Cairo, the rooms are quite expensive, maybe not for us but to Egyptians it is very expensive, they know tourists are paying 700 Le a night and that is a months pay for them. They will speak to you on skype I spoke to my sisters Egyptian boyfriend via web cam, he also seemed genuine, but he ripped her off, he was 31 she is 42, even that is a big difference in age, and all Egyptians want children so this marriage cannot last, I hope your mother sees sense, at some point he will hint for money. Hope all works out for you, Ronnie UK.
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