A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Anonymous (not verified)
It's Tala. I dont know really
Thu, 2010/01/07 - 16:20It's Tala. I dont know really anymore.. I mean he's coming to a totally different culture just for me in his words, he is happy with his life there. I know of people here also married to Egyptians and it's fine but they have lived here and most of them are Doctors so at least they have a good job and money! Am I being shallow now? How can I know if it is not his real family? I dont speak arabic.. problem also for me although he has tried to teach me a few words..
U can't form an opinion me neither and I am normally a very sensible person I'm very together I went over to see him and Cairo as an adventure now look at me!!
Khalid
Correct
Thu, 2010/01/07 - 16:34Tala is in Menoufia, and near Tanta too. So that part is true. The villages around it are: Meet Aboul Kom, Zorqan, Tabloha, Kafr 'Askar, Qashtookh, Zennara, and Tokh Delka. Any of these ring a bell?
I agree that marrying someone who is well educated and has lived in the West is far more acceptable that someone working in a tourist resort. So this is not shallow. With education and travel one's horizons are broader. This is why I tried to put you in contact with Ann/Hanan since she is married to an Egyptian.
Hard for you to know if it is the real family. Sometimes I wish there were reputable private investigators. I have one advertising on this site, but I am not comfortable with them at all. Could be the other side of the scam, or someone exploiting this scam environment to make a quick buck.
Yes, Arabic is hard to learn, but not impossible. It takes time though.
Anonymous (not verified)
He is educated though to
Thu, 2010/01/07 - 16:57He is educated though to university level and I have seen his passport. None of those villages ring a bell.I do have his address though. My goodness are Egyptian people really all that bad and untrustworthy? HWy do so mny people say this. Could he have given me a fake address aswell? But surely how would anyone be stupid enough to have a fake family surely I'll see the differences in how they look? DO you really think that this could not work out?
Khalid
Please, no ....
Thu, 2010/01/07 - 17:28Please, no ...
Egyptians are not like that. Most Egyptians have high ethics. It is a few of those who work in tourist places that exploit the tourists.
As I said many times, this is not a normal setting, so anything developing as a result is artificial or fake.
A normal settings would be your exposure to Egyptian culture for many months (a year at least), in work or study. You get to see normal people under daily challenges, not a manufactured environment.
I am not sure if you will be able to detect if the family is real or fake. You have not been exposed to Egyptian culture enough (see above re: work and study), to establish a base line of what is normal and what is not.
I don't know much to form an opinion one way or the other, because there are some warning signs, but other signs that this is not a regular scam (you being younger than the usual scam victim, the age difference being less than usual, his ability to get a visa, ..etc.)
Anonymous (not verified)
Help
Wed, 2010/01/06 - 16:42Khalid if he was married surely he would not be allowed to marry me in a real civil ceremony in the Ministry of justice in Cairo??
Khalid
Polygamy is allowed
Wed, 2010/01/06 - 18:27You are coming into this with just a European/Western mind set. You are not to blame though, you because it is all you know. Things are different across cultures though and you have to prepare yourself for that.
Polygamy is allowed in Egypt for Muslim men. I am not sure about the details, but if the civil authorities know that he is already married, then they inform the new wife and the old one about the new marriage, but they can't stop it. That is all they can do, and that is if they know.
At 26, it is unlikely for men from the cities to be married at that age. For rural areas, it can be likely.
This is mostly guessing here, on what is most common. Nothing definitive.
British Muslim Woman (not verified)
I need some advice!
Sat, 2010/01/16 - 18:48I am a 28 year old relaxed western British Muslim woman who recently visited Egypt. I've travelled round the world for a living as I used to work as a long haul air stewardess but I have never been so drawn in to a countries culture and felt so much love and warmth as I have in Egypt. Maybe it's because I'm a muslim - I really don't know.
Anyway, I came across many flirtatious men and was pre-warned about this so expected this to happen. To cut a long story short, I did meet a man there and I just can't stop thinking about him. We talk over the phone and text each other every day.
He is 23 (looks older) and I am 28 (look a lot younger). He was shocked when he realised my age and so was I. It took a while to get used to but over time I've realised he is far more mature than guys in my country. I don't have a problem attracting guys in my country but often I find them to be immature and just so not happened to meet the right muslim man (relaxed and western like myself).
I met him in a sheesha cafe where he worked. He didn't try to chat me up, I just asked him for a special egyptian price (I'm not egyptian but I can easily pass for one) and he was intrigued. As soon as he found out I was muslim, he went out of his way to give me special treatment. The following few days he wouldnt charge us for any services (sheesha and drinks) at his cafe and even paid for mine and my friends taxis home including supervising the taxi man in the car and then returning to his home in the same taxi after he saw us return safely to our hotel.
This is the confusing part.... special treatment aside we did sleep with each other before i returned. It was a very different experience - lots of kissing forehead etc but this has left me really confused.
We speak everyday and recently my aunt visited and i sent some gifts with her. He went out of his way to make sure my aunt was well looked after and met them a few times, accompanied them for shopping where he haggled the best prices for them, again dined them (bearing in mind he probably earns little money), supervised their taxi trip home etc. He also sent some very lovely gifts for me - more than I expected. One of which was some quranic verses to safeguard me.
I have planned to go back in April with my friends where we will stay in an apartment for two weeks (with him). I am really confused as I have been reading up alot about Egyptian men but what about Egyptian men wanting to be with Western 'Muslim' women? I know religion is very important to Egyptians and I'm hoping I'm not just another option for him. I want to be his 'choice' because of who i am and for my personality.
He has never even asked me how much I earn. I really don't think he is bothered about money and I know he would be happy living in Sharm or Cairo rather than having a motive to come to the UK. Regardless, I don't want to be the one that slipped through the net and be another number.
Your thoughts???
ala (not verified)
dont be fooled by this as
Sun, 2010/01/17 - 20:58dont be fooled by this as asking for money in various forms comes later,mother needs operation,had to sell furniture to pay debt,invest in business or land deal.meanwhile in between his other victims he will use their money to shower on you until your sucked in.meet the family etc etc all good scams and everyone in hotels is doing it.they will promise you the earth and then dump you or offload to mother for an egyptian girl when secure enough
???? (not verified)
dating An Egyption
Tue, 2010/01/19 - 21:00Hai, um im dating an egyptain and i dont know where else to talk about this, but he tells me i cn were any clothing in the house... i and other things.... I think this will be delted and idc.. i just wanted to get this out to anyone other then my parents...thx bai
Lisa (not verified)
Need some Advice please
Wed, 2010/01/20 - 05:09First off i would just like to congratulate Khalid on this very informative site.
I have been reading you site for almost a week now and i would just like some advice.
I met my boyfriend online about 4 yrs ago, he lives in Zagazig was working and studying.
He is 27 and i am 36.
We got on so well that i went to Luxor twice to meet him and he came down to meet me.
He told me he may have to go to Military when he finished his studies i had known him about 2 years at this stage and he had never asked me for a penny.
Turned out he had to go, first he told me if i married him he may be excempt from going? ( we are very much in love ).
Later he asked me for £400 to pay his way out as he really never wanted to go, ofcourse i refused (he went to Military for 1 yr).We had some contact during this when he went home for Holidays. More contact than i thought we would have.
Since then he has never asked me for any more money.
He told me after Military he will go to find work in Hurghada. The plan was i would go and meet him there and stay for sometime.(He said we will be more free there ?)
I asked him about his parents, he says he won't take me to meet them untill he teaches me how to be around them ? not sure if this is good or bad thing ? ( i have not read anyone say this on any site i have been on before)
Also about children he say he don't mind to have them or not ( I have children of my own by the way).
He wants to live in Egypt and not in any other country.
I am so confused by all the horror stories i read. And i really do not want to get hurt in anyway if i commit myself.
He claims he loves me very much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me ( i love him very much also)
I took a bit of advice from your site and am waiting for him to give me another number of contact, he had no problem with this.
Any advice would be grateful
Thanks
Lisa
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