A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Hannah (not verified)
reply to feel sick.
Fri, 2010/07/09 - 18:07What you say is right, but I think Khalid started this site to warm innocent tourist not to be conned by the few. I am married to an Egyptian man for many years, and know a few others who are happily married to Egyptians, the difference with our cases is that we did things properly, getting engaged, parents meetings and sex only after marriage, it can work, but many tourists are flattered by the sudden attention of good looking young men, who are desperate to have a chance of getting out of the country, and they see this as possible by getting married to a European, or, they are poor and hope that some woman will fall for them and lavish them with money. Unfortunately, they do, I have seen it with my own eyes on three trips to Luxor with my husband, silly women believing, or wanting to believe words of love. Don't be too harsh on these women, they are often divorced from a cheating husband and simply fall for the flattery. We all need to be loved my friend, so please don't judge. Best wishes from Hanan, UK.
Isis (not verified)
Sorry to ruin your day
Sat, 2010/07/10 - 08:42Whilst I appreciate your sentiments and you claim that you live in Egypt and know the Egyptians of Sharm quite well you really need to understand the perpective of Egypt in the tourist areas through the eyes of unsuspecting and maybe gullible western women. The reality is that these young Egyptian men in the tourist areas do prey on women tourists and they do fleece them of their money and all masked with the promise of love and romance. If you have lived in Egypt for 14 years and have never seen this happen thrn please have a good look around because it does happen.
I am married to an Egyptian man and we spend half of the year in Egypt. Our marriage is successful and happy but I am not ignorant to the ways of some Egyptian men as I experienced it before we met and married. I know of a number of women who have been conned by these men and just because these men never appear on back lists it doesn't mean they don't exist. Usually the women just lick their wounds, and walk away because they know they will never see their money again and are generally ashamed that they let themselves be conned.
I am actually amazed that you don't know of the reputation of the gigalos in Sharm, Hurghada and Luxor. Just walk down the main street of Hurghada at night and sit in one of the cafes and you will see the gigalos at work all around. It's a real eye opener.
Anonymous (not verified)
I married a egyptian man I
Fri, 2010/07/09 - 23:23I married a egyptian man I met on the internet. Brought him here and he was crazy! Pure Crazy! I have divorced him and sent him back to the bush he belongs in.
pasposa (not verified)
thank u
Sat, 2010/07/17 - 13:21thank u for talking about this important information, well, im Egyptian woman who workes in tourism in Egypt and i
would like to say that the information that u mentioned is very true, but i would like to focus that not the e
Egyptian like that, and unfortionatly alot of female tourists come to Egypt after men, even i have advised someone telling her that the 2 guys who after her telling her that they love her they only want to have sex with her and after that gonna tell everybody about that and that is in our culutre very bad for women and its ok for men ( it has notning to do with Islam its all about men soicity as in Islam its bad for both the same but men who do that doesnt care with islam also even if they were muslim....!!! but in Egyptand Arab world generally its ok for men to do anything same time they consider the girl who do the same sinner and deserve to die ....!!! as in our socitey girl who have sex with anyone who is not her husband she has no respect no honer and she just pice of shit well, wat i want to say that watever at the end people think that female tourists who go and have sex with men the same also , free and cheap, sorry for saying that but i have to be honest with u and u have the choice so u know now how people think if u are after sex in Egypt ), well at the end I would like to say that
egypt is a wounderful place if u are after a plce for vacation as we have great mounuments, wounderful beaches, and warm weather.
thank u.
Isis (not verified)
To Pasposa - Egyptian men & women tourists
Sun, 2010/07/18 - 08:56Whilst I respect and have an understanding of your upbringing in Islam and I did read your post with interest, I can only see an Egyptian woman making excuses for the poor behaviour of the Egyptian men in tourism because you have been conditioned to believe since you were born that men are the masters and can do no wrong.
I have a few questions for you to consider - do foreign women force these men to stand outside 5 star hotels, train stations and tourist areas makimg advances to many unsuspecting female tourists? Do foreign women force Egyptian men to take on many foreign wives in an attempt to gain money and designer clothes? Do foreign women travelling in Hurghada and Sharm force these men to sell themselves for money and whatever other gains that may fall their way?
It is disturbing that you feel comfortable making excuses for the poor behaviour of these men. Are you aware that these men make their own decisions regarding their behaviour and it does not just relate to taking advantage of women for sex. It also encompasses the whole spectrum of honesty and truth between men and women and in many cases, the sancity of marriage. You are saying that in your culture it is okay for men to do whatever they want including scamming and selling themselves for money and they are excused and it is the fault of women if they allow the men to have sex with them, take their money and their dignity. If your truly believe this then as a woman, you are selling yourself short.
Your points although valid in your culture are not valid in western culture.
Khalid
Explanation not excuses
Sun, 2010/07/18 - 10:39Isis, you misread what Pasposa write. She is not making excuses for anyone. Rather what she is doing is explaining why things are the way they are, rather than what they should be.
She is offering an expanding background of what is happening.
There is a big difference between the two: explanation, and excuses.
She is lamenting the fact that religion treats both men and women equally, yet culture and society trumps religion and gives leeway for the man, against what religion says, yet society shuns a woman for the same action.
She is also faulting the scammers for what they do, not making excuses for them. She is saying that they are catering for a market, and then going further and exploiting their clientèle.
I lament it too ... and I am an Egyptian Muslim man.
Here is an analogy using a Western (mostly American) meme. Sex before marriage is not condoned by Christianity, yet a large percentage of youth engage in it freely in the West. The result can be unwanted pregnancies, which leads to abortion. Now look at the entire pro-choice/pro-life debate in the USA, and how it focuses on a the result (abortion from unwanted pregnancies) rather than the root cause (teens having pre-marital sex).
That is something that similarly astounds us non-Westerners.
Anonymous (not verified)
You are wrong Khalid
Mon, 2010/10/11 - 22:17You said, "yet culture and society trumps religion and gives leeway for the man, against what religion says, yet society shuns a woman for the same action."
And WHO exactly is SOCIETY made up of? 50% men...and 50% WOMEN!!! You can't separate society from its women.
So 50% of the society are women like the one who posted above, who don't care whether their husbands have been fooling around before they married them. If virginity of a man were a prerequisite for marriage, if not leering at women in the streets were a prerequisite for marriage, the men would think twice about what they do. But Egyptian girls don't ask and are willing to look the other way.
You live there in Canada and while we appreciate your wisdom, you just don't see with your own eyes how mothers, female relatives and sometimes wives of men who work in tourism often encourage their sons and male relatives openly and persistently to take advantage of foreign women for money, visas etc. and then leave them once they have what they want.
Khalid
Response ...
Mon, 2010/10/11 - 22:50Maybe it is not looking the other way. Maybe it is just plain denial. It is a very common thing in Egypt (and elsewhere to varying degrees) to deny that an issue exist, rather than face its consequences and moral dilemmas.
For example, parents of a drug addict will deny that he is so, to themselves before others. "I did not raise him this way", "We are not the type of people to have this problem", ...etc.
Similarly, the wife of a womanizing man will be in denial that he has relationships with other women.
By the same token, a woman who is engaged to man, will either never ask him if he had sex before, or ask him and get a lie, or ask him and get the truth and make a decision that he has reformed (and most men do not engage in extramarital sex after marriage, e.g. they are experimenting, or had a lapse of judgment).
If this is not just rumors, or anecdotal cases, then perhaps it is no different from marriage of convenience where the woman is seen as a source of income, and the sex is under the guise of marriage (Urfi or otherwise). There are lot of materialistic people who have a lower moral threshold than what should be.
Anonymous (not verified)
No, it is not rumors. I've
Tue, 2010/10/12 - 01:02No, it is not rumors. I've heard it from the horses' mouths.
Isis (not verified)
Re Excuses
Sun, 2010/07/18 - 20:26I also respect your interpretation of the post Khalid but I see the poster's reasons for the behaviour of these men as excuses because no one in Egypt including the women of Egypt make an effort to dissuay this behaviour. It is convenient to blame the western women that visit Egypt for seducing their men and saying it is okay for the men to have sex with the women for monetry gain but it is the women that are labelled as "whores". What about the men that sell themselves for money? Is this culturally accepted too?
"Here is an analogy using a Western (mostly American) meme. Sex before marriage is not condoned by Christianity, yet a large percentage of youth engage in it freely in the West. The result can be unwanted pregnancies, which leads to abortion. Now look at the entire pro-choice/pro-life debate in the USA, and how it focuses on a the result (abortion from unwanted pregnancies) rather than the root cause (teens having pre-marital sex)."
Regarding your comment above - you note that this generally applies to Americans and I am not American. I was also not discussing un-wanted pregnancies but this does occur in the scammed relationships between western female tourists and Egyptian men. These babies mostly never get to know their fathers and/or can be caught between two cultures. Do Egyptians condone these ment turning their backs on these children and is that okay in their culture? I am asking this question because I know of very few children of these inter cultural relationships that have been raised by the two parents.
As you have noted this whole subject of Egyptian men and foreign women fascinates me. I am trying to get a grasp on why this is such an issue expecially in Egypt. My own relationship has worked but it has come with time and much understanding from both sides. My husband is a practising Muslim but also respects Christianity and is a very hard working and honest man who makes his own money and has no need for mine. He does not sit in shisha and internet cafes dreaming up ways to scam women tourists and he does not think ill of other nationalities and I think this is where the difference lies.
So why does this scamming, lying ans stealing mentality occur with other Egyptian men? I see it as a result of faults on both sides. On one hand foreign women are being lured by the handsome dark skinned men and being vulnerable for attention in the prime of their lives through being divorced, widowed or just lonely. On the other hand ,the Egyptian men see the foreign women as "rich" with a wealth that can take them out of poverty and to the giddy heights of spoilt lives that they never dreamed. If these relationships are such a moral and religious problem to the Egyptians and the Egyptian authorities then why have these gigalos never been stopped and why is the "Orfi" marriage so convenient? I wonder ......
Thanks Khalid.
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