A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Anonymous (not verified)
How do you know he isn't
Mon, 2011/10/17 - 00:20How do you know he isn't getting something off of his WIFE (and yes she is still his wife) to pay for the diamond necklace he gave you? You're having an affair with a married man. If he can do it to her, he can do it to you later.
Anonymous (not verified)
I wouldn't be concerned about
Mon, 2011/07/11 - 22:00I wouldn't be concerned about someone smoking hash any more than drinking. But I don't know much about it.
How long ago ago was the death of the baby? Is his ex wife happy about the divorce? Can you find out?
Anonymous (not verified)
Hi the loss of the baby was 3
Tue, 2011/07/12 - 17:49Hi the loss of the baby was 3 years ago and the divorce started about a year ago so I've been told. And I don't have any reason to doubt him.
What do people think? I have made it very clear that I have no money and that I will never move out of England and he said for the moment as work has started to pick up he doesn't want to leave either for the time being. I don't know where that leaves things but it's good we both know where we stand with each other isn't it and that he still wants to meet for holidays together isn't it?
I'm not looking at this through rose tinted glasses am i? I am being sensible about all this aren't I? What do you all think?
Anonymous (not verified)
I think that if you are 29
Tue, 2011/07/12 - 19:51I think that if you are 29 years old and probably looking for a permanent relationship in the near future. This guy is only able to see you in the holidays. So what will you do the rest of the time? Will you go out with other men who may be able to offer more companionship and perhaps a full time relationship but keep turning them down as you are waiting to see if the Egyptian man will change his mind?
Maybe he is absolutely gorgeous and really nice but you are only seeing him for perhaps 10% of the year at most whilst 90% of the time you could be breaking your heart wondering what he is doing.
You have to weigh it all up yourself and only you really know the answer.
Divorce by the man does not take one year in Egypt. It is practically instant so I have been told. If you are going to pursue this please investigate this properly as you dont want to share a man do you?
Ahmed Hassan (not verified)
Yes divorce is usually
Wed, 2011/07/13 - 01:23Yes divorce is usually instant over here but it's a very very big deal, sometimes it takes much longer because family members from both sides would try to convince them not to do it, that would take weeks of family gathers and meetings, then there is the issue of splitting their furniture based on lists (or the lack of lists) made before the marriage of which side bought what etc which could turn into a disagreement..
The family of the wife usually fight harder than the family of the husband to keep their daughter's marriage intact because a divorced woman over here will find it pretty hard to get married again, they get labeled as "divorced" which could as well be "unwanted wife" then their chances of getting married again would drop a lot ..
I would suggest you just ask him directly about the details of his divorce and why is it taking so long, just try not to sound like you doubt him, because if he was truthful since the beginning, it would hurt his dignity that you thought he was lying to you and dignity is a big deal to good Egyptian men.
Misha (not verified)
Divorce
Wed, 2011/07/13 - 01:57I think timeline for actual divorce is three months - called Iddah - where they continue to live together to allow a period for possible reconciliation and which is to ensure that the woman is not pregnant with his child . . If the divorce is initiated by the man he is to pay the woman her dowry in full if he has not already done so . . that is sometimes a sticking point (and sometimes that is also a scam) . . .
Mahmoud (not verified)
lol
Fri, 2011/07/15 - 19:19after hearing these stories and even more in real life, no wonder why i am marriage-phobia :D
I am an Egyptian Man btw, I believe I wrote on this thread more than 2 years ago, and it is still alive :) cool....
to be honest the thread subject itself is weird, you can't say "don't marry Egyptians", how the hell are the 80 million Egyptians are coming from? and how are they increasing? simply because Egyptian men get married (to local women or foreign women) still they can be use as husbands and as in any other culture or country some of marriages fail,
i think men of other countries can be much worse than Egyptian men after marriage, but to be fair "tourist" in the title make a bit sense. why!
well, I have to be fair, some (some means some not all) of those who work in the tourism industry aren't professionals, basically they came from a hard poor living background and they always heard about paradise outside of Egypt, and so once they find a single tourist female (who is sometimes below standards, sometimes not all) who is offering him or accepting his offer of marriage under the umbrella of love, but he thinks of her as the key to open the gates to get out of Egypt, or to get money from her, that is all due to the hard living he had, and also examples of ppl whom he heard about who has the same route and worked out.
after all, the warning is good, but the generalization is unfair.
but we are humans, seen discrimination examples in many places in this sticky world, but learnt not only to live with it, but also to learn from it :)
wish all a good luck and a successful marriage from Egyptians, others, or even aliens :)
Isis (not verified)
It's not a laughing matter
Fri, 2011/07/15 - 20:00This blog is not about warning foreign women not to marry Egyptians, it is relating to "A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt." This is not generalising as you are taking it out of context. However, your thoughts on those who work in the tourism industry are correct and this is what exacerbates the gigalo problems in the resort areas.
With regards to the many devasting stories of foreign women losing money and children losing fathers because of this type of relationship abuse, I personally don't see the funny side at all.
Mahmoud (not verified)
sorry if my 'lol' hurt anyone
Fri, 2011/07/15 - 21:41and I show all respect and sorrow for any suffering person.
Isis, thanks for notifying me, but I don't like your aggressive way.
and my post was discussing users posts as well as the thread header. and some users posts did generalize.
by the way women are part of the problem, some of them do come to Egypt just for an affair and offering money etc...
and as similar stories go between guys in tourism they start to think of the hunting theory, I am Egyptian, and I go to tourist places frequently, and sometimes i have a serious talk with people working in tourism coz of their behaviour with tourists, but I have seen cases where women is using some of these men.
Isis (not verified)
Agressive?
Sat, 2011/07/16 - 22:41How can stating a belief and explaining context be aggressive? Regarding the foreign women exploiting Egyptian men for sex - it takes two people for this to happen. From my observations and experiences it is mainly the men who perpetuate this problem expecially in Luxor where I spend a lot of time. On the female side of the coin, it is tiring to be constantly rejecting unwanted advances intigated by purely by these "boys" who think that foreign women are just there for their pleasure. Oh, and by the way I am married to an Egyptian man so I just don't visit Egypt, I experience it!
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