A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
lynn (not verified)
you sound like you have made
Mon, 2012/07/02 - 13:34you sound like you have made your mind up ,but believe me it will end in tears,goodluck and be lucky.
Almohamady (not verified)
1st, I would like to
Mon, 2012/07/02 - 13:451st, I would like to apologize for me assuming (in my previous comment) that you don't love your English guy, I now understand more facts after reading your new comment.
2nd, Please go with the 3rd option..
But either way, there are a couple of facts you need to know about the Egyptian culture ..
1- Older women with younger men getting married is very frowned upon (just culturally, has nothing to do with religion), some families are so extreme about this that they refuse to let their daughter marry a guy who is only 1 year younger than her, same goes for a son marrying an older woman.
2- Typical Coptic women are modest in their dressing, well, at least after the age of 30 or right after they get married, it may be acceptable to dress in light clothes around tourist areas but anywhere else, everybody is going to stare at you and some may even say or do disrespectful things.
This Egyptian guy does not represent all Egyptians, don't assume that all Egyptians are open and easy to deal with or even that the Egyptian society itself is going to be easy to live in, the Egyptian culture has many rules that doesn't make any sense half of the time and contradict other rules the other half of the time..
It's completely fine that you enjoy being around younger people, it's completely fine if you want to love and marry a guy 20 years younger than you, age has never had anything to do with love, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, the only problem is how honest is the man you decided to be with, and in your case, pretty much all of the people who have answered you on this site can see that this guy (from what you have written so far about him) shows all the signs of being a typical female tourist conman ..
Please don't throw all your hard earned money and current steady life away for this guy, but of course you may do as you please from now forward, we are not telling you that you shouldn't be with a younger man, we are telling you to be with an honest man and this guy isn't him..
Anon (not verified)
Typically Egyptian men are jealous
Mon, 2012/07/02 - 16:01My experience and what I have been told is that Egyptian men are very jealous and protective of their women. The man I was involved with did not like me to go out, wanted to vet what I was wearing, and who I was talking to. I had to cover arms, chest, legs otherwise it was a huge drama and I wasn't even supposed to shake hands with any man, because I was 'his wife'.
You might also want to rethink facebook. It is possible he has more than one email and facebook account, and he can also block photos and posts that he does not want you to see.
Hannan (not verified)
If you are determined to go
Mon, 2012/07/02 - 13:56If you are determined to go ahead with your plans, then at least give yourself a year, don't rush into anything. Christian Egyptians are not much different to any other Egyptian, he wont care how YOU dress, but he will care very much how his wife will dress, I have heard many young men tell their girlfriends that they dont want to leave Egypt, but they do, they want to earn a lot of money and then go back to buy a nice house and car. Also dont give him money, if he is for real he will want to keep you, not the other way round. And wait for the demands, like Isis said, first the laptop, then a good phone, then a relative, or, himself needing an operation, costing 2000/10000 le, he will expect you to offer the money, say you will pay the hospital direct, see what happens. Good luck.
Anonymous (not verified)
1-If he finds it acceptable
Sat, 2012/11/17 - 07:151-If he finds it acceptable to share you with another man, he is not worthy. No self-respecting man in Egypt would accept that.
2-He won't need any manipulating. He will come to Europe faster than you realize. He is just pretending he won't to make you think he is better than he is.
3-What woman would want to leave a 50 year old man for a man half his age? A pedophile.
Anonymous (not verified)
Thank you all for your valued
Tue, 2012/07/10 - 04:29Thank you all for your valued comments, I am still living in Germany with my English boyfriend, although I fear that he is becoming aware of my situation. He is asking questions about my online activities, texting and messaging. My Egyptian guy has taken to making suggestive comments on photographs that are on my facebook site. I have told my English guy that he being paranoid and the Egyptian guy is just someone I had a laugh with while on holiday. Although I have said that I am unsure if our relationship has a future I need to keep him interested in me as I don’t want to lose him completely and do have feelings for him, we continue to share a bed although he is becoming distant.
I have asked my Egyptian Guy to cool things off for a while to give me chance to sort my life out. He has backed off to some extent although he still texts and messages me now and again saying how much he misses me and what a good time we had together. He is aware of my living arrangements as he will not post anything on photos of us together.
If he was not genuine would he have not commented on photos of us together in order to push me to finish with my English boyfriend and run into his arms. I would love to delete him from Facebook and contacts but just cannot do it, I cannot stop looking at photographs of him and imagining of the life we could have together.
Although I loved my time in Egypt and the guy I met I wish I had never gone there as it is now affecting my everyday life, I dream of my Egyptian guy and the life we could have together. I put this as a warning to other western ladies, be careful if you go to the red sea resorts alone, these guys know how to charm you and get inside your head as well as your body. I am now faced with the hardest choice of my life, all because of a holiday romance that may have developed into something I cannot handle. I may find love in paradise or I may have wreaked my life.
I am at a crossroads and the choice of direction is so unclear.
Thanks Again
Distraught in Germany
Almohamady (not verified)
At this point all I can tell
Thu, 2012/07/12 - 16:06At this point all I can tell you is, do what you feel is better for you on the long run, however, please please please, if you do go ahead with your plans to move to him in Egypt, make sure 1st before you do that you are aware of the signs many of us here warned you about..
- Do not give him any expensive gifts (no laptops, no iphones, no expensive watches and so on).
- Do not lend him any kind of money no matter how small it is and no matter how supposedly awful his situation was (even if his mom was about to implode and he started crying about not being able to pay for the operation).
- Do not sign any kind of papers with him without having your own Egyptian attorney present (shouldn't be hard to find 1 for legal advice and any kind of legal matters) just make sure you get yourself that attorney, don't ask your Egyptian guy to find you 1, because if our suspicions about him being a gigolo were true he would get you an attorney he has a deal with to scam you.
- Do not give him any money if he asks you for help to get a better education so that he could get a better job etc etc.
- If you ever decide to buy anything (an apartment for you and him to live in or a car and so on and so forth, make sure it's always in your own name (you paid for it, so you own it), make sure it's not signed by him, make sure whatever is bought with your money stays yours afterwards (and don't forget having your own attorney to check on what you are signing)..
- If someday he starts talking about him suddenly having to do the mandatory army service, that he might have to go away for 3 years which means losing his job and all kinds of crap then starts asking for money so that he could bribe an army qualification doctor, just RUN... But if you still take his bait and decide to give it to him, just to let you know, the standard bribe to army doctors is usually no more than 20,000 EGP which is around 2,700 Euros ..
You should also know, Orfi Marriage in Egypt does not protect you nor your future children at all if it doesn't get authenticated and turned into an official marriage at a court ..
If you are okay with continuing your journey with him while following the advices/warnings I mentioned above, then go ahead with your plan to move to Egypt and be with him, but if you are not okay with these advices/warnings then there is nothing more I can say..
This is all I could think of as of right now, also you should know that if he does scam you later on and breaks your heart and soul, the Egyptian police won't help you and pretty much no1 in the Egyptian government will do anything to get your money or life back .. There is an old saying in Egypt which is "The law does not protect fools"..
Isis (not verified)
Dear distraught in Germany
Wed, 2012/07/11 - 20:34After reading your last couple of posts I am starting to think that you are having a lend of everyone on here who has given you advice.
The overwhelming advice has been to forget the Egyptian man as he is scamming you and to concentrate on the relationship with your current partner. But you seem hell bent on destroying both your partner's and your life for the Egyptian man who you barely know. Your justification of the Egyptian man's behavior is bizarre to say the least. You have no life or future with the Egyptian man - he is a Gigolo and will have many foreign wives, past, present and future. He is scamming you for money and a better lifestyle.
Your posts are quite odd for someone who is supposedly educated and employed in a professional capacity and and this conjures up doubt of sincerity and honesty. There is no logic or rationale in your comments. In once paragraph you warn other women to stay away from Egyptian men and then you say you are at a crossroads. Puzzling comments!
If you really are in a quandary the advice is that there is no crossroads and the direction is very clear - so once again, ditch the Egyptian man before he destroys your financial and emotional stability. If this story is scam just to get every one going the advice would be to please find something worthwhile to do.
Anonymous (not verified)
Not a scam
Thu, 2012/07/12 - 02:00Isis thank you for your reply, I am certainly not trying to scam anyone. I just wanted to offer a warning to others that these guys can turn your head around and all rational thoughts take a back seat.
I have never felt like this before and my actions are totally out of charecter. My head and life have been turned upside down and do not know which way to turn. I know I will never be able to use my education or work experiance in Egypt but this guy has made me feel like a whole person. I know that if I think with my head I will stay in Egypt, but of course my heart tells me diferant.
If I can be influenced in this way then no female is immune. Just wanted to let others know what a few innocent drinks and nights out can lead to.
I must now make the most important decision of my life, sorry for indication that I am trying to provoke anyone or trigger a reaction.
Once again thank you for advice and information.
Many thanks
Distraught in Germany.
Cleopatra ;-) (not verified)
Do what you have to do, Isis
Thu, 2012/07/12 - 10:53Do what you have to do, Isis is not a professional gigolo doctor with antennae for anti Western women (roflmao) and nor has she given you any good pointers that should dictate your choice in what you do with your life. Good luck, and so long as money is not exchanged for love or promises, you will be ok!
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