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Warning to female tourists thinking of marrying Egyptians

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By Khalid on 2008/11/22 - 20:17, last updated 2008/12/28 - 15:53

A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.

Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.

Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.

So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.

The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:

Easy and Free Sex

Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.

A source for Money

Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.

An Opporunity for Immigration

Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.

Why it works?

There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.

One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.

Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.

Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.

Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.

Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.

Blacklists

Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.

  • An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
  • Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
  • Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
  • Wanted List of Egypt.
  • Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
  • KunstKamera blacklist.

Happens everywhere, not only Egypt

Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.

The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.

Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.

So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.

Final Thoughts

There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.

The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.

So, beware ... 

Further Reading

  • Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
  • Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
  • Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
  • Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
  • Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
  • Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
  • Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
  • List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
  • A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
  • Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
  • An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Contents: 
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Comments

Patricia (not verified)

Reply to Ahmed Hassan

Wed, 2009/04/01 - 17:50

Ahmed, it is easy for you to say when women go there they know what they are doing, but a lot of them are alone, taking a holiday because they are just divorced from an unfaithful husband and simply want to get away for a while. When a good looking young man turns on the charm and tells them they are in love with them, they don't know that these men are just looking for money, we do not get that kind of thing done here in Uk,it might be their first visit to Egypt so they don't know they are being conned. I have seen many women getting hurt, all they have known before is a long marriage to one man, so they are not 'man wise' I hope they all read these messages, I have learned a lot by them, and still love Egypt but would never allow any man to take money off me. If they start to hint, its goodnight Vienna.

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

scan

Thu, 2009/04/02 - 08:41

Beware of the Egyptian men - they are con - artists - they will sell their granny if they could

  • reply

Patricia (not verified)

Dear anonymous, not all

Thu, 2009/04/02 - 15:16

Dear anonymous, not all Egyptian men are con artists, only some, I am writing a book about Egypt and the people there, most are lovely. I notice you didn't tell us your name, why? Patricia, UK.

  • reply

Anonymous (not verified)

Reply to Patricia

Fri, 2009/04/03 - 03:17

I don't have to tell you my name that is my choice, I could put down any name if I wanted to even call myself Patricia from the UK, how is that going to change the truth.

  • reply

Janet (not verified)

to anonymous & Patricia

Fri, 2009/04/03 - 16:50

Lets have a heated debate !

  • reply

Patricia Troman (not verified)

Reply to anon.

Fri, 2009/04/03 - 14:07

I still say women be careful, if asked for money walk away, but most Egyptians are good people, all countries have con artists, there are many in USA and that is a wealthy country. Egypt is a Muslim country and they must be amused by the way some western women dress, I believe when there we women should dress modestly, you cannot blame the young men there for trying it on. I was conned by a man too, but I have learned my lesson, I have been to Luxor 12 times and love the place, and now I have a wide circle of Egyptian friends, the men that con are looking for women who are there for the first time, so they are vulnerable. I don't mind giving my name. Patricia Troman. Birmingham, UK.

  • reply

Anne MacDonald (not verified)

Heated debate!

Sun, 2009/04/05 - 13:09

I wouldn.t have a heated debate with someone who cannot give their name Pat & Jan. I met an Egyptian in Cairo 15 years ago, we have been married for 12 years and have two lovely children, Layla and Gabriel, I converted to Islam because I chose to not because my husnband Khalid asked me to. We are still happy and planning our first trip to Luxor soon, I will write and tell you again if all this is true.

From Anne (Hanan) manchester UK.

  • reply

Khalid

Normal settings

Sun, 2009/04/05 - 13:25

Hanan/Anne

You are an example of how a marriage to an Egyptian (or non Brit in a different country) would be successful.

I tried to make this point in my original article, but it seems that either I did not articulate it that well, or that it drown in all the comments.

The difference here is that you met your husband in a more "normal" settings, not in a resort or touristy place. Resort present an unnatural settings that is not representative of the country, nor its people. Most of the workers at resorts are migrant workers, away from their town/village/society/family. Some of them who are less ethical take advantage of this absence of peers and go for making a quick buck either by getting money from tourists for sexual favors or scamming them by playing a role of the undying lover.

Combine that with women willing to be conned, and you have the result.

In your case, perhaps you met under different circumstances, such as work or study, a more natural setting conducive to know people for really who they are.

  • reply

Anne/hanan (not verified)

Thanks khalid.

Mon, 2009/04/06 - 11:48

You are right, I was on holiday and a medical student, my husband was also a medical student and earning some money as a tour guide for the Egyptian museum, I met him on my first day there and we met every day after. We both graduated the next year at ages 26 and 27, now he works as a private doctor here in England. We are suited because we are both intelligent and have a lot in common. Egyptians can have happy marriages outside their country, but women should make sure that the man they choose is someone with education and a good job, if they are tourist workers, the women should be careful, as someone said earlier if they ask for money then walk away.

Regards Hanan.

ps, looking forward to seeing what really happens in Luxor.

  • reply

Hannan (Anne) (not verified)

Our trip to Luxor.

Mon, 2009/05/04 - 17:04

Myself and my husband Khaled have just come back from Luxor, it is the first time there, we usually go to Alex. It is a wonderful place and a week was not long enough. We left our children with Khaled's parents because we thought it might be too hot for them, and it was hot.

I am so sorry to say that it is true about the women from Europe having relationships with much younger men, Khaled spoke to a couple of the young men there and asked why they went for the much older woman, they both said the same thing, money, one said he had three women who have helped him build a house for his parents, they had given him around £50.000, when Khaled asked him why he didn't have a conscience about it he told him that he made the women happy with sex. The other man told Khaled he liked the clothes he could buy with his lady friends money and he planned to marry an egyptian girl when his parents decided he was ready.

We also saw another woman who told us she lost everything to her younger lover, when the money was gone he disappeared back to his village. Neither of us understand how women can be so trusting of these men. The one who lost all her money was 40 years older than her boyfriend.

Thank heavens we have a good marriage. From Hannan & Khaled UK.

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