A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Ann (Hanan) (not verified)
Dear Louise. If you go to
Mon, 2009/09/07 - 13:21Dear Louise.
If you go to Luxor again, buy a good book on Egyptology and go see the old temples, it is more fun than being in an unrealistic relation ship, my husband spoke to the man at the airport that you asked about, he is married. Can you not get a man at home?
From Ann. Manchester.
Jan (not verified)
Louise, wake up girl, I am in
Tue, 2009/09/08 - 14:15Louise, wake up girl, I am in Luxor now and read your mail yesterday, I have a good friend at the airport so I asked him about Haythem, he is married, as for the other guy that lived in Germany, I know him he does want to start up a hotel, I cannot see him doing it though, he has a wife and kids who will soon be going to university, so if you are determined to marry an Egyptian go to Cairo, find a job there and maybe you will meet a decent man away from the tourist areas.
From Jan UK/Luxor.
Anonymous (not verified)
Hallo again..
Tue, 2009/09/08 - 02:35Dear Khalid and Ann.
First i like to say thanks for you answar.:)
And yes i can find a man at home. But like many other woman in this world, i fall in love.
Maybe i just need somebody to tell me that he is a big player, and have many woman..
I know that love make us blind...
so he is married?? and maybe he have 100 girlfriends??
you never know?
Its easy to say use your brain, and not your emotions:)
I think the reason why i write in this site, i was thinking that many girls/woman will say.. Yes i know him.. Stay away.He do like this and like that..
From Louise
Khalid
Setting yourself for trouble
Tue, 2009/09/08 - 09:43With this mindset, you are setting yourself for trouble. You start by looking in the wrong places, and dismiss advice to the contrary.
Please post back after your experience is over, so others may learn from it. That is, if they want to listen and learn.
Anonymous (not verified)
I will be back;)
Tue, 2009/09/08 - 12:49I am happy for your advice. And i will think about it. i was just interested to hear if anybody know him.. Or have any experience. I will let you know.
Louise
Anonymous (not verified)
I need your help.. I have a
Thu, 2009/09/24 - 04:38I need your help..
I have a friend and she is married to egyptian man.. He have a wife and children.. I do belive that he love my friend. he never ask her for anything. But now his wife found out that he is married to another woman. and she want to divorce.
He say that she need 5000 egypt pound.and she will divorce him.. and if he dont give her this money, she have a paper he sign when they married. and he can go to jail??? he say this is a big chance for them to be together.But i really dont know..I told her. dont send the money..you will never found out if he divorce her or not?? And he say after they divorce he dont have to give her, his money every months. and he will pay her back in 4 months??
I really need your help.if anybody knoe any thing let me know..
Its so easy to divorce in egypt??
Do you belive that he will do it??
I told her that he will never leave his children??
I hope to hear from you..
carrie..
Khalid
Again a typical fiasco
Thu, 2009/09/24 - 11:07Again, a typical fiasco: a Western woman comes to Egypt, falls in "love", marries someone she does not know the background of, and now she finds he has another wife and children.
Now, a bad situation is worse.
It is not clear if he has to pay (dowry [Mahr] that a man normally pays for a wife in Egypt and elsewhere), or he is asking her to pay to divorce her! What a fine gentlemen he is if that is the case!
It seems he is embezzling money from her to end the marriage, and will keep this going as long as she keeps paying.
You don't have the terms well defined, so that I can comment, and your message is not clear. Instead of asking vague questions here, it is better to get the specifics and ask an Egyptian lawyer, or the Egyptian consulate/embassy where she lives.
Let this be a lesson for women who are under the illusion they will find love from a foreign husband that they rent or purchase!
Anonymous (not verified)
Hallo.. He ask my friend for
Thu, 2009/09/24 - 13:33Hallo..
He ask my friend for money, so he can divorce his egyptian wife.cuz she found out that he married.
He ask my friend for 5000l, to give to his wife, and she will give him the paper. i Really dont know anything.Maybe i sound stupid. But i dont want to se her get hurt.. But i think its to late.
So what you say is. he will never divorce his wife. and if she pay him this money, he will keep asking her for more. he told her he will pay her back. cuz after he divorce he dont have to send money to his wife anymore??
Carrie
Khalid
Definite scam
Thu, 2009/09/24 - 13:41In Egypt and other countries, there is a dowry that the man pays to the woman. This dowry (Mahr) is set at the time the marriage contract is done, and may be mentioned fully or partially in the contract.
If a man divorces his wife, he has to pay her the portion that was not paid before the marriage. If she is the one asking for divorce, she may give back what she was paid.
That is the law part of it, in very simplistic terms.
So, perhaps that is what he is saying he will pay his first (Egyptian) wife, and with all the insolence and bald faceness he is asking his second wife to pay him so he can divorce the first wife.
You are not stupid and you are right, she will get hurt, and it is not to late. In addition to the emotional hurt, there will be financial hurt too.
There is no way for the second wife, being a foreigner to know for sure that he did divorce the first wife. And even if he did divorce the first wife, they can return to each other after a set time (4 months I think).
He may even take advantage of the second wife and say that he has to pay alimony to the first wife and keep milking her for more money and more money and more money.
Also, how does the second wife know he will not do exactly what he did to the first to her, and leave her for a third wife, then a fourth, ...etc.?
Hey ladies out there: please use your brains and think before you get into these kind of messy situations.
Anonymous (not verified)
Hallo.. Thank you so much.. I
Thu, 2009/09/24 - 15:26Hallo..
Thank you so much..
I will look up my friend in my house. and take her visacard:)
What you write its just what i was thinking.
I really hope to get her out of all this problems.
Carrie
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