A word of caution for female tourists visiting Egypt: be careful of the many of the men working in tourist areas in Egypt.
Although the vast majority of Egyptians have a high sense of honor and good conduct, it seems that tourist areas seem to attract a relatively high concentration of people with lax morals, who would exploit tourists in many ways. It can manifest itself as persistent aggressive begging, peddling cheap goods, charging 10X the normal prices for services and goods, and what this article focuses on: exploiting female tourists.
Looking at the bulk of the comments on my notes on compulsory army service in egypt they are mostly from non-Egyptian women who married (or intend to marry) an Egyptian man, and army service has become an obstacle.
So, once you here the word "habibti" (meaning "my love" in Arabic), and before you call him "Habibi", let alone go down the marriage route, read on below for more information.
The exploitation happens in many forms, but is normally centered around one of the following:
Easy and Free Sex
Many tourists come from countries where sex is more freely practiced outside of marriage. Youn g Egyptian men working in tourist areas who
are not married see this as an opportunity, and are met with acceptance from the female tourists.
A source for Money
Many Egyptian men who practice this scam view the "wealthy" tourist as a source of income. They keep asking their "girl friend", "fiance" or "wife" for money for various excuses, just like a professional scammer would play a confidence game on a victim.
An Opporunity for Immigration
Some of those men want to get out of Egypt, and see their marriage as a way to gain residence and citizenship in a Western country. The economy in Egypt has been stagnant for decades, and poverty, lack of opportunity and the high cost of marriage lures some youth to trying these tricks.
Why it works?
There are several factors that work in favor of the Egyptian scammers here.
One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men.
Another factor is that the woman is coming to the tourist place to have a good time. It may be a break from stressful work or study, or perhaps a past relationship. This helps blind her to what is happening.
Yet another factor is the cultural differences which also create temporary blindness.
Moreover, those workers being away from their village or city of origin, where they would be observed by their extended family and friends tend to make it easier for them to engage in sexual relationships and scams without being scrutinized by acquaintenaces, and no stigma is attached to these behaviors.
Finally, the scammers have perfected their techniques over the years, and are very skillful at what they do.
Blacklists
Blacklists have emerged on the internet, to warn potential female tourists from known exploiters. These have all the faults of user contributed content on the internet in that they can be innacurate, biased, or even rigged by rivals or pranksters. However, in the absence of any other information, they can be useful, provided they are taken with a good deal of skepticism and research and common sense applied.
- An overview article on what a "black list" is, at Arabia.pl.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Hurghada, in English.
- Dezy House: Blacklist for Sharm El Sheikh, in English.
- Wanted List of Egypt.
- Egyptian Blacklist on Topix.
- KunstKamera blacklist.
Happens everywhere, not only Egypt
Before someone gets the impression that Egypt is a cesspool, and Egyptians are crooks, let me say it is neither.
The problem above is not limited to Egypt by any means. Any country where tourists come in to spend money has its share of exploiters. The above black lists have a Turkish one, and a Tunisian one, and there are lots of stories about French, Italian and Spanish men exploiting women tourists as well.
Of course, there is also the Russian bride fraud targeting well to do men in the West.
So, the problem is universal, although this article focuses on female tourists to Egypt.
Final Thoughts
There are many non-Egyptian women married to Egyptian men happily, so over-generalizing from the cases mentioned, or from workers at tourist resort is wrong. Chances are you will be happy with an Egyptian as a husband if you met him in a more natural settings, e.g. while studying or working, and getting to meet his family as well.
The "artificial" environment in resorts, being on holiday, and surrounded by some scammers lend itself to the disasters described.
So, beware ...
Further Reading
- Marwa Rakha: Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men (also here).
- Global Voices: "Beware of Egyptian Men" says Canadian Embassy, also by Marwa Rakha.
- Trailing Grouse: Egyptian men marrying women for money.
- Yahoo Answers: Egyptian Men marrying foreign women to get out from Egypt.
- Sex, Sun, Stupidity and Gigolos.
- Amy Robson: n English girl who keeps falling in false love with Egyptian men (she finally returned to Britain).
- Someone searching on KunstKamera: for Honest Egyptian Boys?
- List if sites on Romance Fraud in German, and other languages.
- A movie documentary in the making on holiday romance, specially Hurghada.
- Female Sex Tourism on Wikipedia, has lots of links to extensive articles. While Turkey is listed as a major destination, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco are listed as "minor destinations".
- An article from a Canadian perspective: Sex tourism in full boom. Jamaica, Barbados, Dominican Republic and the Caribbean are the major destination for Canadian women.
Comments
Khalid
Asking for money
Sun, 2009/10/04 - 20:32Asking for money can come in many forms, some subtle and some not.
Anonymous (not verified)
Egyptian scammers
Sun, 2009/10/04 - 06:54One factor that helps is that most Egyptian men look desirable to Western women, being of darker complexion than their compatriots. The fact that the foreigners are white blonds work in making the women attractive and desirable for Egyptian men."
This is an opinion, not an actual factor. I believe that the money, not attraction to white women, spawns this behavior. In all honesty I believe that it is just as much the woman's fault as it is the man's if she gets 'scammed'. Nothing is for free so why do these American women think that they can just come to Egypt, use the men sexually without paying for it. Also, if you are silly enough to marry someone that you don't know much about and is just screwing around with out of passion and/or a need to try something new, then you kind of deserve whatever you get. No judgment, just the truth. I know I would never go to another country, screw some foreigner and marry them on a whim. Why are these men getting demonized when the women willingly participate and choose to lavish these men with money and gifts. Like a prostitute and a john, Both parties should know exactly what's going on in that situation.
Simon Wallace (not verified)
Yes it is all good to jump to
Sun, 2009/10/04 - 13:57Yes it is all good to jump to conclusions...but my mum has not had any sexual contact with this man and has not spent one cent on him, has not lavished him with sex or gifts. So none of this is a factor at all. They have just got to know eachother in person and since she left Egypt on the phone and internet.Thank you all for your comments.
simon's mum (not verified)
Just for the
Mon, 2009/10/05 - 07:50Just for the record,(anonymous) I did not go to Egypt looking for a man, sex, a fling or any thing of the sort. In fact it was the last thing on my mind, as I had just come out of an unhappy relationship, and, I was not compelled or drawn to this man by the colour of his skin, in fact I don't even think of him as having dark skin, I don't see that at all.
I met a friendly lovely man, and there was some chemistry which could not be denied, no thunderbolt of lightning no stars and swooning just a comfortable feeling and a knowing that there was something special between us, that has grown into something I hope and trust is real.I believe that every person that comes into our lives is already in our life plan, so we were destined to meet. Kahlid whilst I think your site is very informative and your warnings are warranted, I want you to know that I fell in love with your country, I never once felt unsafe amongst your people, we experienced a lot of your culture through our tour guide Kahled Hafez who took us behind the scenes, this site does not portray what I experienced in Egypt and it is a shame that it shows only the bad. I heed your warning and I am sorry that my beautiful kids are so caught up by what they have read here and feel that this applies to a good majoritory of Egyptian men, because I am sure it doesn't, it would be good to hear some of the success stories too. Enough now, i don't want to be talked about on this site any more and I don't think it is fair to put Ash's name all over it either.
Khalid
I am dismayed as much as you are
Mon, 2009/10/05 - 10:46Hello Simon's mum.
I wish it all ends up well for you, your kids and Ashraf. A happy ending is the best outcome for all.
As for Egypt, as an Egyptian, I am dismayed to see this stuff going on with (some) Egyptian men and (some) Western tourists taking advantage of each other. This is what prompted me to write this article. I never went out seeking this kind of information. It happened by accident.
I wrote about my experience decades ago in the army, and then comments started pouring in from Western women asking about their boyfriend/husband going to the army. It turned out that most of these were scams and army service was one excuse given to the victim. So, I wrote this article, and in no time it filled up with comments.
I did not want it to portray Egypt and Egyptian men in negative light. One Western woman who is happily married (under normal circumstances) made that same comment : "everything here is negative, we need a forum for happily married couples".
Egypt is not like this, and although we have economic and political problems, people are still good, welcoming, helpful and kind. Egyptian men are not like this. The kind of men you find in tourist areas are an aberration and not the norm. Do you expect to find butterflies in a sewer? Or only rats and cockroaches? Same thing.
Ask Hanan or other happily married women about what normal Egyptians and normal Egypt is like.
The problem is not Egypt, I found on Google that this exists in Tunisia, Turkey, Italy, France and elsewhere.
Thank you for your comments, and please post back in a year or so, whichever way this relationship goes.
Hanan (not verified)
To Simons mother.
Mon, 2009/10/05 - 18:36Dear Mother of Simon, I read your letter to this site, of course your son is worried, not only is the man foreign but in a country far from your home. Egyptians can be happily married to English/Australians/American women, I met my husband at the Egyptian museum in Cairo, we were both students, same subject medicine, and both struggling to pay our fees. My father sent me to Egypt for one month as a nice present for studying so hard. I met Khaled and we stayed in touch for one year, then both graduated from Uni, then got engaged, my father hated the idea, but when Khaled came to UK for a holiday he changed his mind and grew to love him as I do. I converted to Islam, (my decision) and we had a lovely muslim wedding,later having 2 children a boy and girl. We both work in UK as doctors and have now been married 15 years, love each other more and are happy. Take your time there is no rush, and I hope you will both be happy, regards from Hanan.
zampokh (not verified)
I have a lot of doutes about your intentions
Sat, 2010/05/08 - 08:27I'm not sure if your intentions were good from the start and I'm not even sure if you are really egyptian. the way you posted your thread dosn't reflect keeniness on egyptian reputation. if you your realy knows what you are doing and if you are really egyptian you could have presneted this subject in a totally different way.
I HAVE A BIG QUESTION MARK ON THE WHOLE SUBJECT
FOR ALL WEASTERN WOMEN WHO ARE ANGERY OF EGYPTIAN MEN, IF YOU HAVE BETTER MEN IN YOUR HOME CONTERIES WHY YOU CAME SEARCHING FOR HAPPIENESS IN A DIFFERENT COUNTERY AND DIFFERENT CULTURE.
NO BODY IS FOOL IN THIS GAME, YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESEREV. NO VICTIMS OVER HERE STOP weeping, we are not fool here please give some respect to people mind
MRS ABDELAZIZ (not verified)
Take care
Tue, 2009/10/06 - 07:04Hello Hello.
I want to tell my story.Jeg met a very charming man when I was on vacation in luxor.Jeg was not looking for a mand. But he was very very sweet and incredibly comfortable. I met him at the airport where he work.I got his email address and decided to write to him when I came home.And then got his phone number. we talked a lot together the next mounths.and I felt like a queen .. I went down to him exactly one month after I had seen him first. and he had made myself very clear that he could not be with me unless we were married. because of Islam. I understood that. after all that.we married / orfi and we rented a nice apartment where we spent a wonderful week together. He made much of and tell me all about his life then and now. and I must admit that I trusted him. After a week I went home and was ready to take off again because of the missing were too big. As I did so after a week.And this time was just as good as the first..I had made him clear that I in no way would give him any money and that he understood well .. I thought;) It must be said that he had a wife and he told me the first day. it ought to have been enough that I had not contacted him at all.Han went home on vacation once a month. and it was only to see his children. I was so stupid and believe på.everytime he was on vacation, there was always something that made that he could not contact me and I chose course and believe in his lies yet again. had not really other opotniti.I traveled there with my 2 girls in 14 Days.and we had a lovely vacation..He really won my girls heart.He asked me if I would move to luxor and being poor with him, and my response was clearly yes. but then took his wife out he was married to me, and she would divorce .. 'It would cost him 5000 le to divorce. Last week I found an e-mail to his yahoo mail. an application to work in Abu dahabi. I asked him how it could be that he had sought work in another country when he had asked me to move there. It was not him, it was work that would move him there.He kept asking me why I had changed .you was not happy when I said that I had separated and that I would come and visit you in Denmark . I had a feeling as saying. Take the worry girl you get enough. I came in contact with his wife and she was too clever opposite me.she said he had told her everything and she had promised and forgive ham. she said afterward that she could not forgive him. It has always been a games between the two. they've probably thought, let's see how much money we can get from her.He tried and convince me that he had been fired from his job at the airport. but I know him so well that he never wanted to shout for his head. But does he still lay .He took Thursday off to Cairo to divorce his wife.And when I had telephone contact with her and learned that he had told her everything. but had forgotten the main thing. I was pregnant, I told it to her. And her comment it was. Tell that to your husband. I explained to her that he knew well and that it was his desire that I should be pregnant.It was so just an important detail, he did forget to tell her.She was very angry to hear it and hung up. yesterday I got a message from her which say.I go back to my Husband.And he sent a very very nice sms.that he would not leave his wife and children. and that the child I carried around was not his, for he had taken pills before we had been in bed.So it might be someone else's child. because I could not get pregnant when he had taken this pills. I must admit that I really laughed. Was obviously huge upset. So I sendt him a long and very ugly sms when I added a picture of his dick. and sent it to his wife. What I try and say is. That no matter how cute they look.so beware .. I'm probably one of the lucky ones who came out of it in time.I really believed that I was quite young specielt.we were both early 30s. and had life for us. but I was wrong. Now I sit back with a child inside who never get to know her father .. fortunately. But really it is so hard. I hope that my story can help others. Beware of yourselves. They are all useful tools just to get money ..
ozoris (not verified)
itsn't all true
Sat, 2009/10/10 - 17:52u till that is egyption men is laier but i can say to u thats in every where ther is good & bad not just Egypt
my ferind its country alote of pepole lives in it but what iam sure about thats alot of egyption is kind , lovly, funy, & know what is good mean & how can hosting our gset
thanks dear
egyption man
Khamis (not verified)
This not fair
Sat, 2009/10/17 - 02:29I am Egyptian and we were a happy couple the same age and u just destroy my dream when she read this article i do not know what to do but who establish this page is not helping people but destorying others who are not fady the only person for the comments as if all Egyptian are fady i hope for u fail as u did to my life
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